Run 1388 – Country Lakeside Resort, Garuga

Run 1388 – Country Lakeside Resort, Garuga
Location; - Seven Kilometers off the Kampala – Entebbe Highway, after branching off at the Garuga Golf course sign post along the road.
Hare; - Tony and Kamdulu
Date: - Saturday 18th July 2010
Written by Katanga Bbi
Some time two weeks ago, I and a couple of other hashers that included Dirty Dick, Loketo, Buffalo Dung, and Hackenbush seating way across the pitch at the VIP section watched the Elgon Cup Rugby game between Uganda and Kenya at the now infamous Kyaddondo Rugby pitch. The Kenyan Rugby team mauled us on that day and we watched from a distance as they danced to Masai rhythms right here in our capital Kampala. Fortunately none of us were there at the Rugby grounds on the day of the twin bombings. Actually there was one KH3 Hashette by the handle of Diggy Ass who was there that day and she survived by the miraculous intervention of the most High. Anyway the events of that day were so horrific that the 11th July 2010 will surely leave each one of us who knew the place or has been there before traumatized. The senselessness of the actions of those people who organized a slaughter of dozens innocent people on such a massive scale simply baffles me. May God Almighty Rest the souls of the departed in eternal peace and may He bring swift retribution with great vengeance and furious anger to the perpetuators of this crime!!! On On.
The day –Journey to the Country Resort
We set off for the country resort aboard a Mini Bus ‘Coasta’ from the national theatre. Someone had surponsored the run . . okay, sponsored the bus, so we were glad to be shuttled to the hash venue, although the bus came back without any Hasher on board as the w****rs rejected all call for them to board the bus back as they were probably having too much fun at the lakeside resort, me inclusive, I will tell you about that later. The usual scenario is to have about fifty hashers all gathered at the set off point for these up country runs. This time we had about only five people show had shown up by the official set off time of 2:30 pm. We waited around a bit and by the time we had waited long enough, there were about 10 or so people on board the bus. We decided to set off knowing full well that at the Hash, “the fewer the better”. The bus drove till we passed about Kilometer past the Roofings factory along Entebbe Road when someone on the bus said “there is a person that we should pick at Roofings factory” some one else responded, okay let him get onto a ‘Boda Boda” and he finds us right here. Driver stop!!! (A boda boda is that motorcycle taxi that is one of the most memorable . . . and most dangerous ways of travelling in Kampala city. The fellow who showed up was none other than our very own Toilet Window!! (Note the use of double exclamation marks!!) Fortunately, he was not in his usual boisterous mood, probably due to the events of the 11th July, so we travelled all the way to the hash in relative peace and quiet. “I am told that on the last trip that involved this particular Hasher, he drank a whole bottle of the 750 ml “Uganda Waragi” gin which comes in at around 54% alcohol. We got to the hash venue about 4:30 pm. It is a lovely place, you should be there it has got . . . well just see some of the pictures for yourself.
Up Circle; - The up circle, was held by hackenbush in the absence of our Hash Master Party Boy who apparently had gone to attend a burial or something like that, There were a bit of new shoes but Hackenbush decided to save them for a later time as there was no beer readily available to do the necessary. Forget who had the new shoes, . . eh actually, Hash Cash Slippery Dick had a brand new pair of yellow running shoes bought from their recent trip to Kuching for the world Inter Hash, the other new shoes was probably Mpuuta. . . Actually I took so many notes on that day (sunset will attest to this) but I have tried to look around for the ka-paper where I wrote all the stuff and have failed to find it. . . Probably I mistakenly burn’t it in the bonfire as we tried to resurrect the fire that was getting low. . .Anyway, I will try salvage the scanty bits of memory that I can master after the hard drive was wrecked by so many bottles of beer.

The Run; - The run started from the Beach Side area of the country resort, (see map that was taken by Nipples GPS watch,), then we went off one check back by the entrance of the Resort where we found GM Pisser just arriving for the run with Dirty Dick and Karamoja Warrior and Evelyne on board his mini bus. Pisser advised us to check back as he had not seen any marks on the road. We back tracked to find the walkers had gone ahead a half K or so, we met the majority of them crossing a ranch like area, connecting with e leading pack of the walkers at a sandy beach and past several points where you had to climb over barbed wire to proceed with run, then a long winding section that we did on the murram road, ten off again till we reached the first check point. Some said the distance to the first check point was about 4.5 Kilometres, I couldn’t agree with them more. The walkers were diverted of from here leading to them missing out on the beer stop. Then on On we continued to through ha town called Gerenge, actually you could call it a landing strip or “Omwalo”. We run past several boats moored on the beach the sound of the crashing waves completely blocking out any other sound. Running on that beachy section was kind of cool as you take a step forward, then lose some few inches as the foot somehow slides back, later I heard Pisser claiming that running on this kind of terrain is good for you feet or is it knees and the effect of the beach running strengthens a certain rarely used muscle in the legs. . Personally, that sounds like, sounds like, sounds like BS to me. Running on sand is p probably the toughest bit of running you can ever think of. Past Gerenge Fish landing site on on upwards to climb a hill that got us to a stone crushing site or stone quarry that one of the stone crushers told me was called Ntende, pas this stone quarry upwards on on until we got to a base station for one of the Mobile telephone companies where we had the second check point and the beer stop. The beer stop was organized by courtesy of Slippery Dick, the Hash Cash who has somehow managed to stage or sponsor several beer stops this running year, mostly the EFE lager, that several w@#$%rs say tastes like piss while others say it tastes like the liquid that comes out of your shorts when you squeeze them out after running a twelve to fifteen kilometers Hash . . . but as you all know, a beer is a beer, so we sat there , on top of this hill that had this base station of which company I am not sure, but we set there and enjoyed the beginning of the sunset, with the lake breeze winds blowing quietly by our shoulders, savoring the taste of lukewarm EFE lager and enjoying a wonderful view of Lake Victoria . . . it was quite a blast!! At that point, you realize that you are on some kind of lagoon where you can see the lake around you for almost 270 degrees. In the distance, we could see the target of our return, lying way down about 3 Kilometres away. So we set off for our target, there were no further scheduled check points , and I had had about two bottles of the EFE lager so to me, I was just Zig Zagging my way back. To say running back would embarrass the people who were actually running. At the second check point, Knock Knees claimed that there was no way he could ever run and drink beer at the same time, just not possible. Mupakasi, Daddy’s Gal and Pisser too kept away from the temptation of the beer stop, but for the usual suspects, we could not leave that place until all the beer was cleared, and justice my friend was not only done but was seen to be done to those two cartons of EFE, no further check points until we arrived at the Country resort.
The circle.
Announcements:-
The Africa hash is still on First week end of May 2011, Addis Ababa Ethiopia. Early bird registration is going on at about 100$US check out the website.
Kampala – Jinja Relay is on 31st July, 2010. A team is composed of 9 people and two of which must be of the opposite sex.
Next weeks run due to take place at Wavz End along Ggaba Road
New Comers.
I don’t remember those hash virgins as you will recall that I lost the ka-paper where I wrote that stuff.
Sinners
See new comers above.

Other Sinners / Chatter boxes.
See Sinners above
Hash Shit
See Chatter box above
A.O. B.
AOB – Meaning any other business – Life is funny; the responsibility of taking charge of the bus to return us to National Theatre was given to Horse Pipe. You all know that Horse Pipe does not partake of the frothy stuff, so at 9:27 pm, he announced that those who had come with the bus that the bus was leaving at 9:30 pm. Immediately you could hear the Hashers shouting out things like “Twakowa!!” (meaning ‘we got tired’) and ‘Wolokoso!!’ (meaning Wolokoso). Anyway, not to be deterred he went to the DJ, who was by then being seen biting a wire as he was attempting to reconnect a broken power connection(You see, power went off and the disco machines went silent, then power suddenly came back on, and the machines were still silent, so the DJ looked around and grabbed a wire and then started biting it for some reason until some one said, “Eh, DJ aluma wire”(meaning, Eh, the DJ is biting the wire!). But I think the biting the wire thing worked pretty well because in no time the music was on full blast.
Anyway, it was apparent that the majority of the Hashers did not want to leave at this early stage, but for some reason, the driver wanted to go, Horse pie left on his own thereafter, so we were left with a quietly fuming Driver who happened to be in such a hurry to leave, I got my bag and bid everyone else who was still having a good time farewell and went to the bus. On reaching the bus, I entered inside the bus and found out that my seat had been taken by some stranger; actually the person next to the stranger in my seat was also a stranger, eh! Alo!, I looked around to try and see a familiar face, but realized that about all the people on the bus were people that i had never laid my eyes on. So, I was perplexed. Her I was with a bus full of strangers, who I later figured out were passengers who the drivers had picked from the crowd that had been attending a wedding ceremony at Country resort earlier in the evening. There was no way I could travel with this group I thought to myself, not with all the intensions I had of stopping he bus several times along the way for things like Pee stops, and beer refills. So back I went to the venue, back to the bonfire, where I met Con man, Who actually I can now recall was one of the Sinners for having come with a Nike top that had the custom made words ‘Conman’ on its sleeve. Next to conman was Perry Mason, then that Mayanja fellow, whose hash handle eludes me from time to time, then Saddam, of course, They were having one of those hash conversations about how this mismanagement has really mismanaged things, typical Hash conversation. The rarest thing that you will ever have at the hash is to have a group of W****rs saying how wonderful and well organized the MMC of that particular year has been. Usually, they are all complaining about something being too little or too much.
After we had closed down the place and the waitresses were very reluctant to serve us unless could do impossible things like having exact change, my guess is that they wanted to go home and we were delaying his process. It was well past their normal sleep hours; coming to 1:30 am we decided to call it a night. We got into Conman’s Subaru and I prayed that he could drive safely back home. Trust me, Conman chauffeured us safely back to town after he had made one last stop by the parking yard of the Country Resort to try and recover a set of ear phones that had dropped off him during the hash, which he did not locate. Anyway, upon getting to town, Perry Mason suggested that we drop by Wandegeya and buy a rolex or two to top up the night. No problem except when we got to Wandegeya, we decided to settle for whole chicken and that is exactly what we got. Me and Perry mason, who were later joined by two Nairobery students and they touched base with Perry mason , whop revealed to us that he spent a significant amount of his life in Kenya, bla bla bla. We turned that whole chicken to the bones it is made off and retired to fight another day.
BEFORE I PEN OFF, PLEASE NOTE THAT THE PHOTOGRAPHS ARE COURTESY OF NIPPLES, THE MAP IS COURTESY OF NIPPLES WATCH, AND THE STORY- JOKE BELOW IS COURTESY OF DIRTY DICK. ENJOY ON ON

Husband and wife arrived home for lunch. They find the maid had prepared exceptionally good lunch,well kept in their food flask but shes not at home.They argued between themselves whether they should eat the food or not,fearing there could be poison since the maid had developed funny behavior of late.
They try it with their beloved cat to see if it dies.An hour down the road,the cat is fine.'lets give it another 30 minutes they agreed once again. They then ate the food.
After eating, a neighbors kid,passing by to fetch water from a nearby water point,tells them ,their cat is dead!.Darkness befalls them as for sure they too were going to die!
They now agree they should repent of their sins so that at least they go to heaven. This has to be done hurriedly,lest they die before testifying.
The man goes first" Forgive me sweet heart,I am the one who impregnated your sister who was staying with us''. The wife is annoyed and wants to lynch the husband but he reminds her'' time is running out yet you have not repented. i did it! Just forgive me and we go to heaven''.
It is now the wife's turn '' You see this 3rd born of mine is for the milk vendor'' the man goes for her throat but the wife reminds him that they are about to die.
Any way,the kid,now carrying water home finds them depressed and uneasy as they wait for the hour. He thinks they loved the cat so much. He then tells them'' the car that knocked the cat was over speeding''

On On
Katanga Bbi
The pictures are random, from wherever, so if you feel you need us to credit you for the pictures, well may the credit of hte pictures be upon you. . .