Hash #1386 - Victoria Hotel

Location - way the hell down Gaba road, ok, almost to Gaba
Hares - Tutu and Defaulter

This hash was an interesting one for me - I had just returned from Gulu and being the dedicated hasher that I am, I drove directly to the hash.  As we have all learned, for any hash that is down Gaba Road or Entebbe Road, you need to leave town by 3pm to beat Kampala traffic.  Yep, I was chasing.  I was chasing nearly the entire hash.  Luckily the Buziga villagers were friendly and between falling off their stools laughing at the muzungu and telling me that I was last, were able to manage a point in the direction I was to go.  I finally caught up with some hashers as we were nearing the On In, but as to what happened at the check points and the rest of the run, I'll have to use my imagination - if anything interesting did happen, feel free to write it in the comments.

When we were all back we enjoyed a circle that saw down-downs for the two hares - Tutu and Defaulter - before we recognized the...

New Comers and Returnees:

• Just Kelly is working with Refugee Law Project and Just Andrew made her come
• Just Brian works for DFCU and Just Alice made him come
• Just Prossy is a teacher in Lugazi (yeah, I don't know how the hell she made it to Gaba in time) and she is apparently an avid masturbator because she said that she made herself come

• No Money made her return after being lost for quite a while, claiming that she was returning from Mulago's Labor Ward
• Sad Term said that she has been lost in France

At that moment, Hacken Bush requested a song from Blow Back - the one he's been working on introducing about a guy named Joe who works at a Moonberg Brewery.  Apparently this guy Joe's life really sucks, his boss is always asking him to push all these buttons simultaneously, his kids are both wa**ers and he has some mental disorder that has him constantly introducing and re-introducing himself...  Anyway, all the hashers had a lot of fun with it, especially Blow Back himself who seems to be nearly having an epileptic fit as he pushed everyone's buttons, as usual.

Sinners:

• When Hacken Bush tried to pull his vehicle into Victoria Hotel's parking lot, he was turned away and told that only VIPs were allowed to park there.  After re-arriving at the venue, he looked around and noticed an army vehicle parked comfortably in front of the hotel - Galloping Major could not be found so a look-alike was taken in his place - Small Balls
• Toilet Window and Sad Term were caught making "strange noises"
• Just Abe was caught having sex on the hash as well as being involved in some kind of boda-boda accident
• Blow Back came into the circle to tell the group a little story about Just Mark: on the way to the evening's hash, Just Mark was seen to be applying a liberal amount of vaseline to his feet before putting on his shoes - apparently he has extremely soft and fragile feet that are having a hard time handling the hash.  When he finished this application of lubrication, he was left with vaseline covering his hands, so what did he do with it???  He put it in his hair of course!!!  The mixture of vaseline and dust that coated his hair at the end of the hash was something that it likely took at least 5 washings to start to clean.

We were pleasantly surprised that the last sinner story lead to a Hash Baptism!  Just Mark, because of his choice in hair products, or rather his choice in vaseline disposal, was given some handle options like Lubri-cunt but in the end, Comes Alone is the name that the Kampala Hash House Harriers decided on for him.

Chatterbox: Bastard - really no interesting story to go with this one...  he was talking.

Hashit

• Because of the NRM conference that was going on, anyone wearing yellow was brought into the circle, including Sad Term, No Money, Monique, Tutu and Dry Climax.  MTN shirts were eventually forgiven
• Dry Climax was also in for chatting up a boda boda
• The Hares: Tutu and Defaulter for leaving two people on the trail

Because she was brought in for two different offences Dry Climax took the cake - or beer shower as it were. Like the true hasher she is, she drank every drop of her down-down even as the rest of the circle showered her with beer, water and soda.  On! On! Dry Climax

The next hash is held at Iguana in Kisementi

On! On!

Solar Erection