Run #1390 -StormChild - Nyanama

Run 1390 – Storm Child Health Club - Nyanama
Location; Somewhere after petrol station in Nyanama. Branch off from that junction after Nyondo Pub and then drive along that road for some 400m. It’s around there.
Date; Monday, 26th July 2010
Hares; Virus and Dry Climax
The Run;
Was a lovely run that catered for all levels of running or walking equally. The Runners from the very first check point were treated to a long winding loop going slowly up some hill, then we caught up with the Hashers again and then another loop that brought us right to the first check point on time with the Hashers. You could tell that this was a running managed by a veteran Hare. The second check point was just next to another Waragi Drinking Joint / pork joint, where W***r Getter and Toilet window mobilized themselves and we purchased a small bottle of locally brewed gin otherwise known as Lira lira (For those who do not know lira lira, well, it is like the first level of brewing Waragi. The nicest on, is the triple distilled, normally called Uganda Waragi, just before, there is the double distilled, which is called kasese, then there is the single distilled, otherwise known as crude Waragi that is known in many places as 'Lira Lira") I took part in sharing this treat as it’s not every day that you get in touch with one of the rapidly diminishing joys of life. Dirty dick bought a bottle of beer here with intention of doing a new shoes down down on some w****r but unfortunately I did not get who it was. The third check point was at a place called Mukiggaga zone, Mutundwe. There was a 'Mutuze' - you could call him a local, who m we found at this place who asked us to say him to Pisser, after a while, we invited him to come over and receive the 'Hi' himself, which he did, The check point was held at another Waragi Watering outlet, also in stock was the same dry gin Lira Lira and pork, here we purchased the full glass of 1,000/= shs, sponsored by Dirty Dick and I tried to look around for someone to share it with. Every one objected to having a sip of the stuff until Toilet window joined in to have one or two sips. I gave back the glass to the fellow who had helped purchase it and he was smiling ear to ear. From there we took the Hashers route, had another beer which I shared with Nyansio at the third check point. By the way, almost everyone did not respect the third check point so after downing our beers, we also headed home but not before I saw this incident that not only shocked me but enraged me too.
After the third check point, I was running with Nyansio, then all of a sudden, I started hearing some people, probably some of the residents of the area, they were laughing out loud in a very bemused way, I wondered what they were laughing at when just ahead of me, I saw, ‘Carol” (not real name), one of the ‘Muzungu’ hashettes who sometimes runs with a dog called Baldrick, and has been running on the KH3 trail for some time and . . let me describe the scene, there was this young man, probably in his early or mid twenties, running along the road beside her, wearing a black jacket , brown trousers and office shoes (so obviously it was not a hasher), attempting to grab her hand or pull her hand or make some physical contact with her , and the villagers, or residents of the area were laughing themselves hoarser at this scene!!, I shouted, screamed to this fellow using all sorts of warning words in Kiswahili like ‘Wewe!, Alo etc. , but the fellow was ignoring me and the laughter was going on and he was still attempting to grab her hand, so I sped up and when the “gentleman” realized that I was closing in, he stopped and stood by the side of the road with a gleeful smile on his face, I went up to him and had a brief dressing down delivered to him, but it seems the words were just bouncing off him. He still had this gleeful smile of great bemusement on his a face. Anyway, I warned him a little about this sort of behavior, sped up to carol and apologized a bit for the ‘Gentleman’s” conduct, but . . . . anyway, anyway, anyway, anyway. Those are our people` - bbe bantu baffe. On On
The circle.
Announcements; The announcement for the Jinja Relay was made once again. The Kampala – Jinja Relay will take place on 31st July 2010. Starting time is exactly 7:00 am in the morning. Starting venue is Kiira Trading Centre, Wakiso District. The run will start on time. There will be a bus sponsored by KH3 that will leave from the National Theatre in Kampala at exactly 6:00 am for those who will need transport to the venue. This bus too will leave on time.
DROP SEEDS 1 AT THE KIIRA TRADING CENTRE THEN PROCEED TO THE END OF THE FIRST SESSION WHERE THE OFFICIAL PHOTOGRAPH WILL BE HELD FOR THOSE WHO LOVE PHOTO SESSIONS.
The second announcement was about the venue of the next run. The next run will be held at a place called Icon Discotheque, Katwe, opposite Quality Chemicals Building.
The Hare is Ayima yima.
New Comers and Returnees
Kachabali who is now working a little bit with Nairobery and has been hashing there, he was told to demonstrate his hash handle and he refused to oblige us.
Saitoti was also a returnee who also is some how involved with the Nairobery.
Yoshi, a Japanese guy who was made to come by Abe.
Amar, from the UK who we also made to come by Abe, so Abe earned himself a double down down.
Of course as you know all, visiting hashers must song us a sing so, we had the famous Hash Song “Am Singing in the rain”. However, as soon as he was through with the song, Blowback came onto the scene and then gave a revamped edition of the song, with “a jogging on the spot” part included, and he made us all sing the song, and do the jogging, it was well worth it. On On blowback.
There was as an n appearance of a group of FRBs (front running Bastards) who came and requested a massive baptism, so that they could be eligible for the Jinja Relay. This was not to be the case as instead they dot sprayed with a bottle of beer by Queenie and told to get lost.
Sinners;-
Include the manufactures of the few t-shirts that we received from the Storm Child Health Club, which apparently had no KH3 logo, I do not know who received this down down as I had gone upstairs to get myself a beer, after resisting the temptation of stealing one beer from the down downs that looked so appetizing.
Chatterboxes;-
Muchira, Whopper, kilavu lavu, Mental Case, mama Bilahuni, were some of the nominees for the famous chatter box. Chatter box was won by Muchira.
Hashshit;- The Nominees for the most prestigious award were;-
We stayed around to get the award for the most prestigious events honours of our hash, and eventually, it went to Terry’s Pussy for saying something nasty at the hash, then just as we were about to sing the song for him for the down down, someone saw Goofy actually stealing a whole bottle of beer from the remaining down downs and immediately reported the case to the hasher. Immediately there were calls to vote again, of is it called a reelection, this was hastily done and a new Hashsit in the names of Goofy was elected “demo-crack-tically”.
On On!!
Katanga Bbi

Run 1389 - Wavz End, kasanga

PHOTOS

The first photo shows Queenie in the centre at the 2010 World Interhash Borneo, Kuching during Red Dress run. Others in the picture are KH3 2010 Hashmaster Party Boy, Bowling Balls and some one who looks like KH3 Hash Cash Slippery Dick. Other pictures show photos taken by Nipples' Apple Ipod during the Wavz End Run, No. 1389 KH3

Run 1389 – Wavz End Ggaba Road
Location; - Just after Kasanga as you drive from Kampala, before you reach the swamp.
Hare; - Don’t remember, I lost the bu-papers where I wrote the material for the run once again.
Date: - Monday 19th July 2010
Written by Katanga Bbi
A Hasher and his he goat
For the second week in a row, I have misplaced the paper where I made my notes, I am sure I will find them but it will be too late by then4, any case, I hope no one is watching, before I begin the blog, let me start with this one story that I heard at the hash, it is sort of a joke, but real serious as it happened to a hasher and possibly hope it does not happen to you.

Anyway, here it goes, a hasher, actually not just a hasher, a late GM of the Kampala hash Harriers made a visit to the countryside, and as you know these GMs of ours usually have tons of cash lying around, anyway, during the course of this visit to the country side, he saw a huge he goat at one of those village markets that was going for an incredibly low amount. Being the sport that he is, he paid for the he-goat with the intention of roasting it at the cricket oval on a Sunday as the cricket aficionados watched the game of the day, the idea in itself sounded like so much fun, and the price of the goat was so low that it all sounded like to good to be true . . .Anyway, upon purchasing the he goat, he put in the boot of his car, a 4WD Pajero Intercooler and he sped off to his city Home in Kampala City.
Now, the one thing that is so unforgettable about the he Goat is . . . guess . . . is. …. Of course the smell, or aroma, or the perfume of the goat. It is simple y . . . hmmmmm I do not even know what word to use here, by the smell of that animal never leaves you to say the least. So as soon as he got home, he immediately took his car to the washing bay with clear instructions to the washing bye fellows to wash it completely and especially erase that obnoxious smell that is inside the car.; I tell you those boys washed the car, they shampooed the car, and they vanished the car, and then perfumed the car before allowing him to puck it. The Late GM picked it and since the perfume was still hanging around in the air the smell of the he goat was not very strong. But he had jus t driven a few kilometers when it seems as though the scent of the he goat just came back and pushed the bu-perfumes of the Washing bay aside and then re-established itself as the primary scent of the car.

It is said that even when the time came to have this goat transported to its final location, the cricket oval, he had to use another pick up as he could no longer think of having the environs of his car tainted once again with the goat scent.
Anyway, the story continues, he took the car the following three weeks to various washing bays within the city, at each washing bay they tried something new, others recommended removing the chairs, and shampooing them separately, which they actually did, but still the smell was not going away, Others recommended removing the carpet oat the back of the car and completely replacing it, which he did and still the scent was not going away, others recommended the purchase and use of some of the most expensive designer perfumes from perfume designers like Calvin Klein, Givenchy, Issey Miyaki, Eternity, Gucci Rush, Dolce & Gabbana etc, which he did and still the scent was not going away!!! I am telling you this he goat scent fought a battle with the world’s greatest perfume design houses and the he goat scent won, over and over with each design house. The he goat scent beat scents the world’s greatest perfume designers hands down! It never left the car, the other scents just hanged around the car for a few minutes only, until the scent resumed its full duties.
Whenever people would get into that car, immediately they would ask, “Alo, Eh, mmmmphphph, what’s that smell?” of course being such a long story, he could not give a straight answer, so he cooked around for an appropriate sounding answer, but you and me know that it’s a scenario which is very difficult to explain.
Anyway , the situation went on like that for quiet some time until, he took the courage and told his predicament tot a dear close friend and understanding person, who would not burst into laughter the moment he heard t he full details of the “Case”.
After he explained himself so thoroughly, to the understanding gentleman, the gentleman told him that “you know …… , after hearing your story I have come to the realization (he was the sort of person who loved to use words like ‘Realization’, Amway, I have come to the realization that the best thing that you could possibly do right now is to ‘SELL THE CAR” At first GM thought that he was listening to a joker, until he internalized the message and realized that actually it all made sense!!! Here he had been, fighting tooth and nail to remove the irremovable scent, and yet, there was an option of this car, at a slightly discounted price to some unsuspecting person and then purchasing another similar car which has probably never had such an incident occurring to it. Anyway, a few days later, he put up his lovely 4WD for sell, and within days, the car had been bought. He was later heard telling his friends, that I was forced to sell that car because of the he goat!!” (Many think the car knocked some he goat or something, they probably may never know) On on
Fortunately, there are some pictures of the run that Nipples took and you could possibly have a look at them.

On On

Katanga Bbi
But briefly, the run was good possibly about 8KM, there was lots of security guards around, the route was long enough, there was the usual down downs and a beer stop along the way, the MMC gave out mugs for achievers and T-shirts too, etc., I got a mug for 200 runs, Matooke san complained that he hit 200 runs long ago but did not get his mug, Dayo clocked 900 runs, doesn’t it terrify you that within a matter of 18 or so months, he will have reached the magical 1,000th run. Incredible. Kisanja had not yet returned the book where we record our information, apparently he returned it during the course of the week, there was some hullaballoo about Kisanja taking the book for so long bla bla bla, ooooh and there was a near burst up that involved Solar Erection (the Hash scribe) and Queeniev (the Hash Beers), watch out for a section called WOLOKOSO which will be accompanying the blog posts where the gory details will be made. But aparaetnly the burst up involved Dog Eaters T-shirts for doing 50 runs, the word a***ole, and some other no hash stuff, . . . On OnTeams made small gatherings to work out their plans and preparation for the for the coming Kampala-Jinja Relay due in less than six days time, We are expecting two teams from Kigali Hash House harriers, and similar numbers from Nairobi Hash House Harriers.
Announcement

Hash Run no: 1390
Date: Monday, 26th July 2010

Hash Venue: Storm Child (health) club - Nyanama
Directions: Drive Kampala - Entebbe road. When you reach at Zana (which is at the end of dual carriage way) branch off to your right, pass 'Pearl Suites' and on until you reach a junction. The place is around there.

Look out for signposts and don't be afraid to ask the locals! or you call the venue owner on cello phone no. 0772.501563

You are encouraged to start early due to heavy traffic on that road.

Charges: UGX 7,000

Time: 6pm

Hare: Dry Climax & Someone.

Runs costs 7,000, Food, water and Fruit is free to those who have registered only. plus the well selected mouth watering Hash buffet.
You may be lucky to have a free drink

Run/walk last about an hour, with stops, and are followed by some beer drinking - both traditional and contemporary - silliness and then dinner. Whatever happens after that it is your own business. We won't judge!!!

IMPORTANT
Have you registered for Kampala Jinja relay? Accommodation especially at Hotel Triangle, the main venue, is tight!. Do not miss the fun, etc.
1st July 2010 - Kampala _ Jinja relay. Registration fee shs 30,000/- per hasher and shs 40,000 for non-hasher. Start preparing your team, etc O
2. Old school run!! to be organised by Dick chopper and Dirty Dick. Date to be advised.
3. Ssese islands run in December 2010

This is an information reminder that Hash is for adults, as some of the Hash acts are not suitable for MINORS.
This rule is strictly enforced at other Hash chapters. At KH3, we are requesting each one to use his/her conscious (if any) to follow this rule, as our Goon squad members are normally very exhausted after the run that the little energy left in them is better utilized on essentials like BEER, socializing, and the like.



Irrelevant contacts
1. Hare raiser - Mpuuta 0772.760051 e-mail address: jimmukasa.uga@gapcogroup.com
2. Hash cash - Slippery dick 0772.401811 e-mail address: esrmutaawe@yahoo.com
3. Hash scribe - Solar erection e-mail address: becca.schwartz@gmail.com

Breaking news

At the MMC meeting held at the nook club, during the course of the week, it was resolved that the MMC relieves the current Hash Stats - White Crap of the duties of the Hash stats mainly because of the crappy way tha hhis has been handling this responsibility. A new Hash stats is coming on board and it is hoped that he will rectify the present anomaly with the Hash Stats. On On

Run 1388 – Country Lakeside Resort, Garuga

Run 1388 – Country Lakeside Resort, Garuga
Location; - Seven Kilometers off the Kampala – Entebbe Highway, after branching off at the Garuga Golf course sign post along the road.
Hare; - Tony and Kamdulu
Date: - Saturday 18th July 2010
Written by Katanga Bbi
Some time two weeks ago, I and a couple of other hashers that included Dirty Dick, Loketo, Buffalo Dung, and Hackenbush seating way across the pitch at the VIP section watched the Elgon Cup Rugby game between Uganda and Kenya at the now infamous Kyaddondo Rugby pitch. The Kenyan Rugby team mauled us on that day and we watched from a distance as they danced to Masai rhythms right here in our capital Kampala. Fortunately none of us were there at the Rugby grounds on the day of the twin bombings. Actually there was one KH3 Hashette by the handle of Diggy Ass who was there that day and she survived by the miraculous intervention of the most High. Anyway the events of that day were so horrific that the 11th July 2010 will surely leave each one of us who knew the place or has been there before traumatized. The senselessness of the actions of those people who organized a slaughter of dozens innocent people on such a massive scale simply baffles me. May God Almighty Rest the souls of the departed in eternal peace and may He bring swift retribution with great vengeance and furious anger to the perpetuators of this crime!!! On On.
The day –Journey to the Country Resort
We set off for the country resort aboard a Mini Bus ‘Coasta’ from the national theatre. Someone had surponsored the run . . okay, sponsored the bus, so we were glad to be shuttled to the hash venue, although the bus came back without any Hasher on board as the w****rs rejected all call for them to board the bus back as they were probably having too much fun at the lakeside resort, me inclusive, I will tell you about that later. The usual scenario is to have about fifty hashers all gathered at the set off point for these up country runs. This time we had about only five people show had shown up by the official set off time of 2:30 pm. We waited around a bit and by the time we had waited long enough, there were about 10 or so people on board the bus. We decided to set off knowing full well that at the Hash, “the fewer the better”. The bus drove till we passed about Kilometer past the Roofings factory along Entebbe Road when someone on the bus said “there is a person that we should pick at Roofings factory” some one else responded, okay let him get onto a ‘Boda Boda” and he finds us right here. Driver stop!!! (A boda boda is that motorcycle taxi that is one of the most memorable . . . and most dangerous ways of travelling in Kampala city. The fellow who showed up was none other than our very own Toilet Window!! (Note the use of double exclamation marks!!) Fortunately, he was not in his usual boisterous mood, probably due to the events of the 11th July, so we travelled all the way to the hash in relative peace and quiet. “I am told that on the last trip that involved this particular Hasher, he drank a whole bottle of the 750 ml “Uganda Waragi” gin which comes in at around 54% alcohol. We got to the hash venue about 4:30 pm. It is a lovely place, you should be there it has got . . . well just see some of the pictures for yourself.
Up Circle; - The up circle, was held by hackenbush in the absence of our Hash Master Party Boy who apparently had gone to attend a burial or something like that, There were a bit of new shoes but Hackenbush decided to save them for a later time as there was no beer readily available to do the necessary. Forget who had the new shoes, . . eh actually, Hash Cash Slippery Dick had a brand new pair of yellow running shoes bought from their recent trip to Kuching for the world Inter Hash, the other new shoes was probably Mpuuta. . . Actually I took so many notes on that day (sunset will attest to this) but I have tried to look around for the ka-paper where I wrote all the stuff and have failed to find it. . . Probably I mistakenly burn’t it in the bonfire as we tried to resurrect the fire that was getting low. . .Anyway, I will try salvage the scanty bits of memory that I can master after the hard drive was wrecked by so many bottles of beer.

The Run; - The run started from the Beach Side area of the country resort, (see map that was taken by Nipples GPS watch,), then we went off one check back by the entrance of the Resort where we found GM Pisser just arriving for the run with Dirty Dick and Karamoja Warrior and Evelyne on board his mini bus. Pisser advised us to check back as he had not seen any marks on the road. We back tracked to find the walkers had gone ahead a half K or so, we met the majority of them crossing a ranch like area, connecting with e leading pack of the walkers at a sandy beach and past several points where you had to climb over barbed wire to proceed with run, then a long winding section that we did on the murram road, ten off again till we reached the first check point. Some said the distance to the first check point was about 4.5 Kilometres, I couldn’t agree with them more. The walkers were diverted of from here leading to them missing out on the beer stop. Then on On we continued to through ha town called Gerenge, actually you could call it a landing strip or “Omwalo”. We run past several boats moored on the beach the sound of the crashing waves completely blocking out any other sound. Running on that beachy section was kind of cool as you take a step forward, then lose some few inches as the foot somehow slides back, later I heard Pisser claiming that running on this kind of terrain is good for you feet or is it knees and the effect of the beach running strengthens a certain rarely used muscle in the legs. . Personally, that sounds like, sounds like, sounds like BS to me. Running on sand is p probably the toughest bit of running you can ever think of. Past Gerenge Fish landing site on on upwards to climb a hill that got us to a stone crushing site or stone quarry that one of the stone crushers told me was called Ntende, pas this stone quarry upwards on on until we got to a base station for one of the Mobile telephone companies where we had the second check point and the beer stop. The beer stop was organized by courtesy of Slippery Dick, the Hash Cash who has somehow managed to stage or sponsor several beer stops this running year, mostly the EFE lager, that several w@#$%rs say tastes like piss while others say it tastes like the liquid that comes out of your shorts when you squeeze them out after running a twelve to fifteen kilometers Hash . . . but as you all know, a beer is a beer, so we sat there , on top of this hill that had this base station of which company I am not sure, but we set there and enjoyed the beginning of the sunset, with the lake breeze winds blowing quietly by our shoulders, savoring the taste of lukewarm EFE lager and enjoying a wonderful view of Lake Victoria . . . it was quite a blast!! At that point, you realize that you are on some kind of lagoon where you can see the lake around you for almost 270 degrees. In the distance, we could see the target of our return, lying way down about 3 Kilometres away. So we set off for our target, there were no further scheduled check points , and I had had about two bottles of the EFE lager so to me, I was just Zig Zagging my way back. To say running back would embarrass the people who were actually running. At the second check point, Knock Knees claimed that there was no way he could ever run and drink beer at the same time, just not possible. Mupakasi, Daddy’s Gal and Pisser too kept away from the temptation of the beer stop, but for the usual suspects, we could not leave that place until all the beer was cleared, and justice my friend was not only done but was seen to be done to those two cartons of EFE, no further check points until we arrived at the Country resort.
The circle.
Announcements:-
The Africa hash is still on First week end of May 2011, Addis Ababa Ethiopia. Early bird registration is going on at about 100$US check out the website.
Kampala – Jinja Relay is on 31st July, 2010. A team is composed of 9 people and two of which must be of the opposite sex.
Next weeks run due to take place at Wavz End along Ggaba Road
New Comers.
I don’t remember those hash virgins as you will recall that I lost the ka-paper where I wrote that stuff.
Sinners
See new comers above.

Other Sinners / Chatter boxes.
See Sinners above
Hash Shit
See Chatter box above
A.O. B.
AOB – Meaning any other business – Life is funny; the responsibility of taking charge of the bus to return us to National Theatre was given to Horse Pipe. You all know that Horse Pipe does not partake of the frothy stuff, so at 9:27 pm, he announced that those who had come with the bus that the bus was leaving at 9:30 pm. Immediately you could hear the Hashers shouting out things like “Twakowa!!” (meaning ‘we got tired’) and ‘Wolokoso!!’ (meaning Wolokoso). Anyway, not to be deterred he went to the DJ, who was by then being seen biting a wire as he was attempting to reconnect a broken power connection(You see, power went off and the disco machines went silent, then power suddenly came back on, and the machines were still silent, so the DJ looked around and grabbed a wire and then started biting it for some reason until some one said, “Eh, DJ aluma wire”(meaning, Eh, the DJ is biting the wire!). But I think the biting the wire thing worked pretty well because in no time the music was on full blast.
Anyway, it was apparent that the majority of the Hashers did not want to leave at this early stage, but for some reason, the driver wanted to go, Horse pie left on his own thereafter, so we were left with a quietly fuming Driver who happened to be in such a hurry to leave, I got my bag and bid everyone else who was still having a good time farewell and went to the bus. On reaching the bus, I entered inside the bus and found out that my seat had been taken by some stranger; actually the person next to the stranger in my seat was also a stranger, eh! Alo!, I looked around to try and see a familiar face, but realized that about all the people on the bus were people that i had never laid my eyes on. So, I was perplexed. Her I was with a bus full of strangers, who I later figured out were passengers who the drivers had picked from the crowd that had been attending a wedding ceremony at Country resort earlier in the evening. There was no way I could travel with this group I thought to myself, not with all the intensions I had of stopping he bus several times along the way for things like Pee stops, and beer refills. So back I went to the venue, back to the bonfire, where I met Con man, Who actually I can now recall was one of the Sinners for having come with a Nike top that had the custom made words ‘Conman’ on its sleeve. Next to conman was Perry Mason, then that Mayanja fellow, whose hash handle eludes me from time to time, then Saddam, of course, They were having one of those hash conversations about how this mismanagement has really mismanaged things, typical Hash conversation. The rarest thing that you will ever have at the hash is to have a group of W****rs saying how wonderful and well organized the MMC of that particular year has been. Usually, they are all complaining about something being too little or too much.
After we had closed down the place and the waitresses were very reluctant to serve us unless could do impossible things like having exact change, my guess is that they wanted to go home and we were delaying his process. It was well past their normal sleep hours; coming to 1:30 am we decided to call it a night. We got into Conman’s Subaru and I prayed that he could drive safely back home. Trust me, Conman chauffeured us safely back to town after he had made one last stop by the parking yard of the Country Resort to try and recover a set of ear phones that had dropped off him during the hash, which he did not locate. Anyway, upon getting to town, Perry Mason suggested that we drop by Wandegeya and buy a rolex or two to top up the night. No problem except when we got to Wandegeya, we decided to settle for whole chicken and that is exactly what we got. Me and Perry mason, who were later joined by two Nairobery students and they touched base with Perry mason , whop revealed to us that he spent a significant amount of his life in Kenya, bla bla bla. We turned that whole chicken to the bones it is made off and retired to fight another day.
BEFORE I PEN OFF, PLEASE NOTE THAT THE PHOTOGRAPHS ARE COURTESY OF NIPPLES, THE MAP IS COURTESY OF NIPPLES WATCH, AND THE STORY- JOKE BELOW IS COURTESY OF DIRTY DICK. ENJOY ON ON

Husband and wife arrived home for lunch. They find the maid had prepared exceptionally good lunch,well kept in their food flask but shes not at home.They argued between themselves whether they should eat the food or not,fearing there could be poison since the maid had developed funny behavior of late.
They try it with their beloved cat to see if it dies.An hour down the road,the cat is fine.'lets give it another 30 minutes they agreed once again. They then ate the food.
After eating, a neighbors kid,passing by to fetch water from a nearby water point,tells them ,their cat is dead!.Darkness befalls them as for sure they too were going to die!
They now agree they should repent of their sins so that at least they go to heaven. This has to be done hurriedly,lest they die before testifying.
The man goes first" Forgive me sweet heart,I am the one who impregnated your sister who was staying with us''. The wife is annoyed and wants to lynch the husband but he reminds her'' time is running out yet you have not repented. i did it! Just forgive me and we go to heaven''.
It is now the wife's turn '' You see this 3rd born of mine is for the milk vendor'' the man goes for her throat but the wife reminds him that they are about to die.
Any way,the kid,now carrying water home finds them depressed and uneasy as they wait for the hour. He thinks they loved the cat so much. He then tells them'' the car that knocked the cat was over speeding''

On On
Katanga Bbi
The pictures are random, from wherever, so if you feel you need us to credit you for the pictures, well may the credit of hte pictures be upon you. . .

Run # 1387 - Iguana Bar - July 12th, 2010

I'm sure many of us, after Sunday's events, considered not coming to the hash but there was actually a great turn out and though it was a little subdued, our regular Monday drinking club with a running problem was there like the sun shining through the clouds.  For those of you who lost friends or loved-ones, our thoughts and prayers are with you.


The run was hilly and the hares had the nerve to take the run right through Mulago...  those of us with a conscience felt a bit awkward.  We finished by running across the golf course where, luckily, we weren't chased by guards this time - with the heightened security around town, it could've been bad news for the KH3.

Run #1387 - Iguana Bar
Hares: Squiro and Kisanja

Announcements:
The Jinja Relay will be taking place on July 31st, registration is closing Monday so get your teams together!

There's a Saturday Hash on July 17th at Garuga Country Lake Resort.  Buses will leave from the National Theatre at 2pm and the cost is 10k

Nairobbery HHH will be hosting a hash in Malindi Aug 6-7, the cost is 7000KSh

New-Comers:

• Just David from London is unfortunately not single and came because of a co-worker named Joyce??? whether or not this is Bowling Balls, I am not sure, because she didn't have the balls to come forward for her down-down
• Just Deiter was a late arrival, and a "Wisitor" from Switzerland

Returnee:

• Matokesan has been hanging out in Nairobbery but has now come to his senses and returned to Kamapala

The Hash Master, Party Boy, called a minute of silence to honor the lives that were lost in Sunday's bombings.

Recap on the World Interhash - Kuching (see previous posting for details on the interhash from Ripoff)

• 45 delegates from the Kampala Hash House Harriers
• KH3 was the best represented of the entire African continent
• Recognition down-down for those who went - about 8 were at Monday's hash
• The next World Interhash hosts will be Indonesia!

Sinners:

• Dirty Dick and Federo paid the World Interhash registration but never went!
• Just Frieda got in trouble for being an Indonesian, stealing the World Interhash vote and keeping the Interhash in Asia/Oceania for the third time in a row!!!
• Squiro took a down down for his brother the World Cup Game Predicting Parakeet
• Frieda and  Bacon and Eggs took a down-down for taking 1hr45 to finish last week's hash!  They got lost I suppose, maybe some of those Buziga villagers weren't as friendly as I thought!
• Just Gladys was pulled into the circle for a Fashion Statement
• And then there was Kyomugisha Sarah...  I'm not sure what she did and neither is she, but she still got a down-down for it.
• **Scribe's Pick** - One of the hares threw a little temper tantrum right in the middle of the circle - refusing to move.  Now I'm not sure what it was about but this guy was already on my sh*t list for being a total sleaze.  Kisanja, get a life!!!

Chatterbox:

For the second-to-last prize it came down to the usual suspects of Mpuuta, Katanga Bbi, Just Jackson, Karamajong Warrior (who cheered for himself when it cam time for voting!!!!), and Just Claire.  In the end it was my trusted sidekick, Katanga Bbi who took the prize and as you can guess by looking at him, he was far, far too thirsty.

Hashit

The top prize was up for grabs as usual but came down to the following individuals:

• Just Peace was making like an anthropologist, looking and listening to a strange tribe - not participating
• Kanatga Bbi went back to the village and mistook a bull for a cow, and as everyone knows, you can't get milk from a bull, but apparently he did get something milk-like out of the bull...
• Measles called Dirty Dick to tell him that he (DD) had perished at Kyadondo Rugby Club.  Measles also had his bicycle at the scene and was standing around watching the mayhem like it was some kind of entertainment, until a police officer had to ask him to leave.
• Mama Mia was found to be already in the queue for food before the circle had finished.

In the end, it was the sins of Measles that proved to be the worst and he won the ultimate prize/punishment of Monday's hash.

Kuching Interhash 2010

Hey Guys,

Never mind we are just 5 hours ahead of you and it appears all is well with the 30 strong Ugandan team here in warm and humid Kuching save for a few ambushes here and there. But that  will be a story for another day. The more than 24 hours trip was not without incident as a few of the Ugandan hashers and hashettes were threatened with a quarantine at Kuala Lumpar airport on account of having no vaccination certificates. It is not known whether it's the looks of Hot Pants that set off the alarm bells of the immigration police at KL fearing she had brought in yellow fever. Anyway all is well that ends well. They used a combination of Ugandan wit and a few phone calls to Case clinic in Kampala to have the whole thing cleared up and after a few hours the confined contingent joined us.

Kuching is difficult to describe. Suffice it to say it to say that it is warm and humid, a lot more organised and much cleaner than our own 'developing' Kampala. Although it rained cats and dogs over us during the Red Dress run yesterday one did not need to cover her/himself up to keep out the chill as we were sweating like pigs as soon as it stopped raining.  Compare that with the Kampala chilly evenings whenever it rains.

The sreets are well paved and nothing of the chaos, dust and noise characteristic of Ugandan towns. KH3 should sponsor Seya for a fact finding tour here. Tourism appears to be the mainstay of this Malaysian island and there are a number of new sky scraper buildings  housing hotels and banks and adding a new dimension to the quiet and calm of the city.

It's a bigger turn up of hashers than was the case in the 2008 Perth Interhash, about 6000 wankers from all corners of the world. They bring  untold amusement to the otherwise laid back Kuching residents especially the school kids that were bewildered and amazed by the quaint red dress attire yesterday.

The stories are many but we will catch up next time. A few of the pictures so far........

On On

Rip off

Hi Guys,

The winners appeared to be the losers yesterday when Indonesia Java was announced the next venue for the Interhash 2012 closely edging out the Kenya bid. There was sustained protest booing practically drowning out the announcement and not a word of the Indonesiaians acceptance speech could come through.

The resentnent was due to the fact that we have had three Interashers in row in the same Asian zone after Chiand mai, Perth ad Kuching.

In the end the Kenya head of delagation Mr Hen said they woluld work out a compromised with Indonesians and inded Kenya would host a hash event in  Mombasa in 2012. That was greeted with loud applause and many were heard to saying that they would travel to kenya and not to Indonesia for 2012.

Otherwise the Kuching Interhas ended well although my trail had two arm fractures yeasterday due to the wet,hilly,  treacherous and slippery trail. I have done well over 350 hashes in my life and never have I been gripped with the fear of going home on stretcher as I did these trails. 

If you went to the Stanbic Bank Sipi run you will bear me witness.

All is well that ends well and Kuching ended well and will best be  remembered for the soggy bamboo forest trails that only  allowed even hardiest runners just but little trot most of the way.

Happy to report that all the Ugandan team is in good shape and soem are are headed home while others are off to  explore what  makes China tick including Guand Zhou Shanghai etc.

Warm greetings from Hash Mzee, Mrs  and Mr Bean

On On Ripoff

S/He's the Meanest

In case any of you want to study up, here are the lyrics to one of the great down-down songs that Blow Back has introduced:

He (or She)'s the Meanest

He's the meanest
He sucks the horse's penis
He's the meanest, he's the horse's ass

Ever since he found it
All he does is pound it

He's the meanest, he's the horse's ass

Hash #1386 - Victoria Hotel

Location - way the hell down Gaba road, ok, almost to Gaba
Hares - Tutu and Defaulter

This hash was an interesting one for me - I had just returned from Gulu and being the dedicated hasher that I am, I drove directly to the hash.  As we have all learned, for any hash that is down Gaba Road or Entebbe Road, you need to leave town by 3pm to beat Kampala traffic.  Yep, I was chasing.  I was chasing nearly the entire hash.  Luckily the Buziga villagers were friendly and between falling off their stools laughing at the muzungu and telling me that I was last, were able to manage a point in the direction I was to go.  I finally caught up with some hashers as we were nearing the On In, but as to what happened at the check points and the rest of the run, I'll have to use my imagination - if anything interesting did happen, feel free to write it in the comments.

When we were all back we enjoyed a circle that saw down-downs for the two hares - Tutu and Defaulter - before we recognized the...

New Comers and Returnees:

• Just Kelly is working with Refugee Law Project and Just Andrew made her come
• Just Brian works for DFCU and Just Alice made him come
• Just Prossy is a teacher in Lugazi (yeah, I don't know how the hell she made it to Gaba in time) and she is apparently an avid masturbator because she said that she made herself come

• No Money made her return after being lost for quite a while, claiming that she was returning from Mulago's Labor Ward
• Sad Term said that she has been lost in France

At that moment, Hacken Bush requested a song from Blow Back - the one he's been working on introducing about a guy named Joe who works at a Moonberg Brewery.  Apparently this guy Joe's life really sucks, his boss is always asking him to push all these buttons simultaneously, his kids are both wa**ers and he has some mental disorder that has him constantly introducing and re-introducing himself...  Anyway, all the hashers had a lot of fun with it, especially Blow Back himself who seems to be nearly having an epileptic fit as he pushed everyone's buttons, as usual.

Sinners:

• When Hacken Bush tried to pull his vehicle into Victoria Hotel's parking lot, he was turned away and told that only VIPs were allowed to park there.  After re-arriving at the venue, he looked around and noticed an army vehicle parked comfortably in front of the hotel - Galloping Major could not be found so a look-alike was taken in his place - Small Balls
• Toilet Window and Sad Term were caught making "strange noises"
• Just Abe was caught having sex on the hash as well as being involved in some kind of boda-boda accident
• Blow Back came into the circle to tell the group a little story about Just Mark: on the way to the evening's hash, Just Mark was seen to be applying a liberal amount of vaseline to his feet before putting on his shoes - apparently he has extremely soft and fragile feet that are having a hard time handling the hash.  When he finished this application of lubrication, he was left with vaseline covering his hands, so what did he do with it???  He put it in his hair of course!!!  The mixture of vaseline and dust that coated his hair at the end of the hash was something that it likely took at least 5 washings to start to clean.

We were pleasantly surprised that the last sinner story lead to a Hash Baptism!  Just Mark, because of his choice in hair products, or rather his choice in vaseline disposal, was given some handle options like Lubri-cunt but in the end, Comes Alone is the name that the Kampala Hash House Harriers decided on for him.

Chatterbox: Bastard - really no interesting story to go with this one...  he was talking.

Hashit

• Because of the NRM conference that was going on, anyone wearing yellow was brought into the circle, including Sad Term, No Money, Monique, Tutu and Dry Climax.  MTN shirts were eventually forgiven
• Dry Climax was also in for chatting up a boda boda
• The Hares: Tutu and Defaulter for leaving two people on the trail

Because she was brought in for two different offences Dry Climax took the cake - or beer shower as it were. Like the true hasher she is, she drank every drop of her down-down even as the rest of the circle showered her with beer, water and soda.  On! On! Dry Climax

The next hash is held at Iguana in Kisementi

On! On!

Solar Erection

Run 1385 - Buddies

Run 1385 – Buddies Restaurant, Bar and Night Club
Location; - About 500 Meters before you reach the Ntinda Trading Centre as you approach from Bukoto.
Hare; - Kifulugunyu aided by Karamojong Warrior
Date: - Monday 28th June 2010
Written by Katanga Bbi
Joke: I will probably start this blog posting with a joke that I heard recently, It could have been a true story but, we will probably never Know; Anyway, here it goes,
Our dear country Uganda has passed through a very interesting History. In 1985 there was a Military coup that disposed of the government of Dr. Appollo Milton Obote, who had been facing severe pressure from the guerrillas of the NRA who were by then still fighting for our freedom and democratic principles in the “bush”. Anyway, when the Military Men of Obote’s government took over power from him in what they called a bloodless Coup d’état, they handed over the Presidency to Lft. General Tito Okello Lutwa. Needless to say, Lutwa was more surprised than anyone else about this sudden “falling into things”. Actually he once confessed to the public that when ‘they” told him that he was to be the next head of State he responded thus. . . “They told me that, Eh Lutwa, you are going to be the next pregident of Uganda. I said . . . “Alo?!, Aaah!!” . . . You should hear that with the original accent it so hilarious. . . . Anyway, the gentleman was a little bit challenged in the arts or skill of using the Queen’s language as we were later to realize. Anyway, the story goes thus:
On the First day of assuming this prestigious office, he got a call early morning from His Royal Highness, the King of the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia, King Fahd Bin Abdullah-Aziz Al Saud, congratulating him on this feat and wishing him well in his new responsibilities. When he was told about who was on the line, “King wa wapi?!” they told him Saudi Arabia, he said, okay put him on the line and then they talked for some time., No sooner had he finalized his conversation with the king, another equally powerful monarch, the Sultan of Brunei, called in to wish him happy returns. The calls of congratulations kept on coming thick and first!! By lunch time he had been on the phone with over 20 Presidents, various Prime Ministers, heads or State etc. and still he labored on with the scanty English that he could master, trying as much as possible not to descend in to the Kiswahili Language with which he was so much more comfortable with. In the afternoon there were calls from the Prime Minister of The Federal Republic of Germany, then the President of Argentina, The Ambassador of the Royal Danish Embassy, then Chancellor of the Exchequer (at which point he told someone “Wewe kujja hapa saa yi, Sasa yiyo ni University ya hapa Uganda?!” (meaning ‘hey you over there, is that ‘exchequer’ also a University somewhere in Uganda?). Anyway that day, he received so many phone calls from so many distinguished, high ranking personalities that at the end of the day, he was had remarking solemnly to some close friend “Sasa Yiyi kazi ya Obote ni Ngumu sana!!” (Sincerely, this job of Obote is a very tough one!!) On On!!!
Up Circle; - We gathered inside the Restaurant/bar/Night Club that Buddies is, and had the circle courtesy of Party boy, the Hash Master. By the way the hash venue is owned by Kazoora, formerly of WBS Television, but now working with Pepsi Cola Uganda which explains the Mirinda fruity T-shirts that we received. By ‘we” I refer to a lucky or is it a chosen handful of Hashers who were fortunate enough or who came early enough to earn themselves a right to a T-shirt. My guess is that they were less than 40 or something, compared to the more than 100 Hashers who turned up to start the hash. Some Wankerettes like Septic Tonku chose not to wear the T-shirt but to wrap it around their bottoms. Thanks for the T-shirts. Anyway, at about 3 Minutes past six o’clock we set off for the run.
The Run; - The run started from Buddies, then backwards along the road that approaches Ntinda from Bukoto till that turn or rise up to the Home of the father one of Uganda’s leading Musicians ‘Bebe Cool’. There is a slight rise then a steep descent towards a valley like place then through a couple of residential houses then again risings up to the top of the hill then down again, with two or three check backs for the Hashers and the Runners and the running a long winding Kilometer of residential area till we came to the first Check point. I read a sign post at this check point and it indicated that we were somewhere in Bukoto. It was at this point that we had the newest release of the latest of Blow Back’s Hash song. It was quite a revelation and for those of you who missed it here we go;-
My name is John
And I work at the Moonberg Breweries.
I got a Wife
Two kids
Both W****rs
And my Bossie said to me
Push the button with your finger
. . .
(After the whole song is sang, similar chorus, then it gets to, Push the button with your elbow, then push the button with your right leg then he finally says f**k you) It involves physical demonstration of these actions which is quite energetic to follow) On On Blow Back.
The trail then took us past the KISU International School where the torpedo in the names of Solar Erection (who apparently is the official Hash Trash, and I her assistant, and also is the one who came up with this lovely idea of running the hash rash completely paper less by using the blog). . . meandering again . . . Past the International School we went and on no to with one check back just before we descended into the ghetto like area of Kamwokya trading centre. However at this point some, actually not just some, many Hashers and Runners refused to check back and went onwards to the Bukoto Ntinda road. Some of these including GM hackenbush decided at this point to abandon the run and go straight back to the Hash venue. Those of us who checked back were lead into the meandering ghetto of Kamwokya, where after a little while of running aimlessly realized then that Hare too was lost and was busy searching for the right route out of the slum. After finding the right way out, we sped to reach the road that short cuts the Kira road Police station, This road connects Kamwomkya trading centre direct to somewhere just before the Kabira Club. We crossed this road at the lowest point (near the valley) and then saw the hashers and runners who had refused to get checked back way across the football field just before you reach the Kira Road Police Station. W e crossed that No-man’s land lookalike area, past the football pitch across the small around about past the Police station then onto the Lugogo By pass road, which I hear these days was given another name Like John Babiha Avenue, (Actually it is called Rotary Avenue) down towards the turn off opposite Mackenzie vale, and on On towards the School, that is in that area, I think it could be the Kampala Parents Schools, then we had a steep climb up to reaches the Check point number two at the middle of that Naguru Hill. From the second check point, they had small check back for the runners and Hashers, which Pesticide decided not to honor the check back knowing full well the geography of the area as his office is located within the vicinity, so he instead took / enjoyed that loop alone. At this point I heard some w****rette, who has probably never set a run say that they hares should be more serious and ensure that they maximize the use of any and all loops that they may find on their trails.) (fine idea, its just that searching for those loops . . . Eh anyway, My advice for these “run critics” should be, hey why do you not set out own hash?, and then we see how good you can really be with those loops.). Anyway, from the missed loop we went up past the Solar Erection’s office; where I saw her calling somebody who probably keeps the place o come see her running. It was another uphill climb to the midway point of the hill then we went down and started traversing the Naguru Slum, . . . okay upper Naguru area. It was a mixture of several uphill and down hills and one major check back that brought us back to the road that passes Kembabazi’s place then onwards to the AIDS something place then down wards and then we took the long road the at reaches Spot After, which apparently now belongs to the Hashette Mahoganess. Someone remarked to me that we had passed right by Pisser’s Residence somewhere along the route. It would have been a nice idea to popup in for one for the road but maybe next time. From Spot after it was an On In. The run I could approximate was about 12 KM, although I heard it from Baby Hen, that it was around 10KM but felt like 12 KM because of the several up hills and the down hills. By the time some of us got to the Hash venue, the water was finished (or should I be saying the water was over) and there were just a few pieces of fruits remaining. Someone reminded the complainers that please save water and buy drink beer. Nice Idea if you asked me.
The circle.
Announcements:-
The Africa hash is still on First week end of May 2011, Addis Ababa Ethiopia. Early bird registration is going on at about 100$US check out the website.
Kampala – Jinja Relay is on 31st July, 2010. A team is composed of 9 people and two of which must be of the opposite sex.
Next weeks run due to take place at Victoria Hotel, Ggaba. Hares are likely o be Tutu and Dick Chopper.
The ‘Push your button song was repeated again”

New Comers.
There were lots of these ugly faces, including
- Jackson, who has especially been recruited as a mercenary specifically for the Jinja Relay. 9Some one later told me that the fellow is actually Queenie’s Brother, so please Hash Respect, we have got another American . . .‘Black American on Our hands)(He told us that he was made to come buy Hose pipe, so that is one more Mercenary for No Pork . . . City Tyres beware)
- Christine from NewYork, made to come by Daniel, someone mentioned an Intern, and maybe she was the one or something.
- We had Meg from New York
- Carol who was made to come by Running Stomach, she is working with AON, America on Line for you learned men.
- Julius k from Uganda telecom was a returnee
- Arrow girl made her baby girl Darlyne come.
- Justin from North Carolina who was made to come by Daniel
- Michael Mpulumba who was brought to the Hash by Dirty Dick.
At this point Hackenbush chose to move the circle to another point just underneath a huge tent.
Sinners
Al’s bar was seen/ caught Chatting the evening away with a regular female hasher, who apparently has got no Hash Handle and really must at be in need of it as she was so hesitant to give me her name that I had to drug it out of her. Hey were pair together and interlocked arms to drink our down downs. The next chatter box pair was Bowling Balls and Fat Man, while third Chatter box pair was Parmalat and Michael Mpulumba again were seen chattering away about something about embezzling funds.
Darlyne and Adiga were also seen chattering, both of these were hash virgins if I am not mistaken.

Other Sinners / Chatter boxes.
Federo for chatting to his subjects while they were in the circle
Solar Erection for showing off her offices while we were running up hill in the Naguru Area.
Wanche for something that I did not get.
Wide Ass for chattering away the evening
The Chatter box was won by Wanche.
Hash Shit
Kisanjja was nominated for being so mean that for the past five months or so, he has been moving around with all the ribbons from the 7Hills run that we held sometime in Feb this year. Hackenbush said that Kisanjja has piled up an assortment of various ribbons, of several colors from previously held runs and that Apparently he keeps these ribbons in his car, and when he hears that there is a clamp down on those who do not have ribbons, he dashes to his car, after seeing the color that they are looking out for, then gets the correct ribbon from his ribbon store and then returns smiling triumphantly. Ear to ear, after having successfully beaten the system once more.
The full details of this just made everyone know that there would only be one nominee for the Hashit but it appeared that someone had forewarned him of the impending dilemma and he decided to take off (Or you could say, he decided to “go for a burial in Kisumu at 3:00 am in the morning”)
The second nominee for hashit was Arrow gal, but because she is a grand mattress, Blow back had no power to summon her to the circle, so instead; he got Kamdulu to come into the circle to represent the Late GM Arrow gal. The crime was that after soliciting for Billions of KH3 Hashers Money is to make customized T-shirts as Haberdasher 2010, the ones that had received theirs were a little bit disappointed that they did not have hash handles on them. Anyway, the nomination was something along those lines.
The third nomination was Hash Cash Mutawe , aka Slippery Dick, for something that I did not get. Mutawe aka slippery dick won this award, actually this last part I did not recorded so I am just guessing. I hope I am right. Anyway, that was that.
What happened after that included a football match that was featuring Brazil and some other team but I do not recall, anyway, what happened after that was not the responsibility of the MMC.
On On


Katanga Bbi