Run 1398 – Kyambogo Cricket Oval
Location: Turn off at Kyambogo Stage, on the road that goes to that place where you renew your Driving Permit, then proceed for the next six hundred meters or so.
Date: - 6th September 2010
Hares;- Big Balls and Loketo
Written by Katanga Bbi
Eh, My hair Banage!!,Diggy Ass the New Shoes of the Day and eventual hashit seems to be saying as Buffalo Dung, Hash Master Party Boy and Queenie prepare to do her the honours.
The Run; -Now, every once in a while, on the Kampala hash, you get a signature run, not too short, not too long with check backs in the right places and all, that is when you realize that the hares know what they are doing.
We had ourselves a wonderful run at the cricket oval when two persons who have been setting runs for quite a long time, call them veteran s of the Kampala Hash as they together have accumulated more than 1,000 (That is if they pay)(tongue in cheek).
The run started from the Cricket Oval also that doubles as the track pitch for Kyambogo University. Then from there we went to the road that lead to the university, then the walkers went on, while the rest climbed up what I could call University road, the road that passes right thru the middle of the University, then a turn off, and an extra climb and a long decent for the runners brought us to the base of the hill and then it was a climb from here all the way to the top of the hill and reaching the first check point just below a Palatial Residence of His Royal highness The King of Buganda, Kabaka Ronald Mwenda Mutebi II.
Then from the first check point, probably there was a song or something, we went towards Pesticides’ Residence, then a little bit downhill with a small check back for the runners then, a lovely loop brought us to a steep climb which was led by the indefatigable Muchira, then we brought downwards a little bit then a long loop about a kilometer for so long brought us to the second check point nets to Boda Boda Riders Stage deep there in Kyambogo. We had another song from there, led by Dayo, I think it was one of those move your hand left, right then leg songs.
Then we had a loop from the second check point for the runners while the Hashers went straight on, of course ignoring many of the Hook ten that were strategically placed along the trail by the veteran hashers. Then it was a bit uphill running and flat sections spread through the Kyambogo outskirts that brought us to the third and final check point, which also doubled as a BEER STOP!!
At that Beer Stop, there was an ice cold crate of Beer waiting for those with thirsty throats, a pity to those , many hashers who are reluctantly avoiding the sweet nectar more and more these days, especially during the run. They used to be good at tit but of late have been avoiding the brew more and more often, I think they a preparing themselves for the marathon or something, I wish them luck. Go for the 5 M, why not. The names will be coming to you recently, but just watch this space. The Beer stop had an assortment of free beers al courtesy of the Hares Big Balls and Loketo. Moonbergs, Clubs, Nile etc where there in plenty.
From the third check point, it was just a five to eight minute run back to the Hash venue, so we took our time and finished al the beer before going straight back in zig zag fashion of course. The final straight of the run involved running a long straight gently sloping several hundred meters and then finally branching off through a wonderfully designed Eucalyptus forested area then on in thru the field to the Hash venue.
The circle.
The circle started round about 7:30 pm with the introduction of the hares and the ugly faces/new comers.
• There was Buwembo who came in courtesy of the Kisementi Team, actually he claimed that the had been invited by Munobe Robert. There having been no other New Comer for Returnee, it was a opportunity thrown wide open for all Team Kisemnti Runner to get themselves a down down courtesy of the Kampala Hash.
Sinners were showered bottle of beer because they did not come dressed in the formal Hash attire, the hash T-shirts.
Kamdulu won the chatter box in a tight contest with Big Balls,
Announcement about the Africa Hash 2010
Just for laughs!!
Just read to the end!..and fill in any Ugandan names you can think of ...for the Naija ones
Once upon a time, when Baba (Obasanjo) was in office as the president, he got an invitation from the Queen to come for a visit to England . After all the banquets and carriage rides and what not, Baba finally got the quiet moment he had craved all day in order to have a one on one chat with her majesty. After the usual small talk, Baba quickly popped the question. He asked her what the secret to her success was. You know Nigerians, we think everything is a secret…the President’s health status is a secret, his whereabouts is a secret, reports of the various panels of enquiry set up by govt to investigate the causes of different crises around the country are kept secret, we even have secret registries in every government agency in d country. Maybe we are a secretive people, we love secrets.
Anyway, back to our story. So Baba asked for the SECRET to the Queens ’s success and she told him that she relies on her people a lot and therefore she makes certain that only the intelligent get to positions of authority.
She decided to show him exactly what she meant and so she phoned Tony Blair. "Now listen carefully, Mr. Obasanjo. I'm going to ask Mr. Blair a question to determine his intelligence.”
Queen: "Hello Mr. Blair, I have a question for you: your mother has a child, and your father has a child. This child is not your brother and is not your sister. Who is he?"
Tony Blair replied instantly, "It's ME Your Majesty!"
Queen: "Correct! Thank you and goodbye"
"You see Mr. Obasanjo?" said the Queen.
"Yes”, he replied “and thanks a lot, I'll definitely be using that!"
Once back in Nigeria , he decided that he had doubts about Mantu’s level of intelligence and he decided to test him. He arranged a meeting with him and asked him:
"Mantu, I have a question for you; your mother and father have a child. The child is not your brother and is not your sister, who is he?."
Mantu thinks...... and thinks………and thinks, and finally says, "Em, Mr. President, you must give me more time to think about it."
And Mr. Obasanjo gave him 2 weeks to come up with an answer. That afternoon, Mantu called a meeting of all his aides, advisers and assistants to discuss the question, but NOBODY knew the answer. So he decided to take it to the floor of the Senate. After a heated debate the Senate President thought it wise to clear out the gallery and go into a closed session as he believed the revelations that might result could be damaging to the family and reputation of the distinguished Senator Mantu.
After about two hours of deliberations, the house decided to set up an ad hoc committee to look into the matter and report back to it in ten days. The committee was given the following terms of reference:
1. To come up with a complete family tree of the entire Mantu clan
2. To pay a courtesy call to the traditional ruler of Mantu’s village and the State Governor
3. To interview all living relatives of Senator Mantu
4. To determine if Sen. Mantu’s dad had any extramarital affairs
5. To determine the DNA composition of Sen. Mantu (in Germany of course or Saudi)
On completion of its assignment, the committee was to submit its report to the Senate which would then pass it on to the Senate committee on special duties. This committee would then review the report of the ad hoc committee and come up with a draft “white paper” (whatever that means). This draft “white paper” would then be brought back to the Senate and on approval would be passed on to the President through Senator Mantu.
The Ad-hoc committee then submitted its budget which, of course, was kept SECRET, but included funds for;
a) The immediate purchase of Land Cruiser jeeps for each of the 12 members of the committee. The jeeps would be used to travel to Mantu’s village because, as you know, Nigerian roads are bad and Mantu’s village is remote.
b) Air tickets (first class of course) and hotel accommodation in Jos for committee members and their numerous aides. They’d stay at the Hill-station hotel and drive to Mantu’s village in the morning.
c) Air tickets (again first class) to Germany and back, and hotel accommodation (five star) for everybody.
d) Estacodes and hazard allowances
e) Logistics
f) Miscellaneous
Pesticide Admiring One of the Achievers Mugs, I think her he was receiving his 200th or Mug or something.
Even though the budget was kept secret, you can easily come up with the figure by taking the actual estimate of the above list and multiply by ten. You’ll only run into problems when you get to the final two items (logistics & miscellaneous) , as these are usually added to cover for all the people that need to be “settled” in order to ensure that everything goes smoothly. Therefore the figures have the tendency of varying widely and so it can’t really be predicted.
Anyway, the money was released and the committee started its assignment in earnest. They finished within the time frame that was stipulated in their terms of reference and they prepared a voluminous report which was to be presented at the senate at plenary. But on the d-day when the chairman of the committee was about to make the presentation, a distinguished senator from the Southern part of the country raised a “point of order”. He argued that the committee was illegal because its composition was lopsided in favor of a certain region in the country. He pointed out that of the 12 members; seven were from the North and only five from the South. Not to be outdone, another senator, this time from the North, raised a “point of order” on the “point of order” that was raised by the senator from the South. He argued that since the committee’s assignment was primarily to investigate the lineage of Senator Mantu (who was from the North), they needed
senators who knew the terrain, who understood the culture of the people and their language.
More points of order followed and after a while the Senate President decided to put a stop to it by subjecting it to a voice vote.
And thus he announced, “All those in favor of the committee being considered legal and thus go ahead to present its report say “AYE””. And the house responded accordingly.
And then he asked again, “All those not in favor of the committee being considered legal and thus should not go ahead to present its report say “NAY””. And the house responded accordingly.
Unfortunately for Mantu, the “NAYs had it” and thus the report was never presented. Now Mantu had a really big problem, because the President was waiting for an answer and he had run out of time. So in one last effort, he decided to phone his very good friend Jerry Rawlings who had always sounded intelligent to Mantu and thus might have the answer to this really difficult question.
"Jerry, your mother and father have a child. The child is not your brother and is not your sister, who is he?."
Jerry answered immediately. "Hey, Mantu, It's me of course, you dumb Nigerian!"
Mantu couldn’t believe his luck and so he rushed to Aso Rock Villa, his motorcade of five cars moving at top speed with sirens blaring. Ordinary Nigerians going about their normal businesses scampered out of the way. When they finally arrived their destination, Mantu literarily ran all the way to the President's office.
"Mr. President, Mr. President”, he called out, breathing heavily. “I know who he is.”
Obasanjo: “Good, so tell me”
Mantu: “It’s Jerry Rawlings Sir! In fact, when he revealed the SECRET to me, I started to see the resemblance between us"
Obasanjo: "Jerry Rawlings ko, Jerry Gana ni. You are such a stupid senator. Olodo rakpata! I'll make sure you don’t return to office after this term. Stupid man, the correct answer is TONY BLAIR!"
We had an impromptu Hash shit for one of the Kisementi people, Micheal Mpulumba was lucky enough to get the not so strange sounding ‘Wolokoso” as his hash handle which might means lots of chattering or something. Apparently, it’s one of those words which you know but cannot really explain in English.
Awardees;
There were some Achievers who managed to get a selection of Mug to comerate their Achievements. Unfortunately, the ka paper which they gave me to include in the blog got misplaced. That’s what they call it mismanagement. But see pictures attached for a wardees
Some of the Lucky few who got their Mugs for so having clocked a given number of runs. Bean Countered right there like third or fourth has reached the 700 Run Mile stone. On On
Hashit
The nominee for the award were Ball Scratcher and Diggy Ass, Diggy Ass won it hands down. Diggy Ass won it together with the new shoes that she had on her, which she baptized like a true hasher.
We had the hash flash available on this day and he took some pictures so here we go those were the pictures from the last run courtesy of Rip off the Hash flash.
On On
Katanga Bbi
