Run # 1371 - Kabaka's Birthday Run 2010

April 12th, 2010
Bulange

Hares: Dirty Dick, Federo, Measles

Edited on May 3rd, 2010 to add: Very sorry to Measles and Parasite for the mix-up, I will stop relying on drunk hashers to tell me who's who in the circle!!  and of course I will insist that they speak English as it is the official language of the hash.  Can someone please tell me though - was it Parasite or Measles who had the new shoes?!  Will edit accordingly.

I had to hurry up and post this so as not to be surpassed by Kantanga Bbi's speedy blogging and get things all out of order.  Lucky for me he seems to be having internet problems lately.

The Kabaka's Birthday Run was held at Bulange and hared by Federo and his minions, one of whom (Parasite) was caught with new shoes - you'd think he was a rookie, thinking he'd get away without a shoe-o-beer at a hash he's haring.

The run actually started early - something I truly could not figure out seeing as Federo is usually chasing at any other hash.  Once we started we were treated to several of the hills that part of town is famous for, nearly 7 of them!  There were far too few cannons on the run but with beer stops at Namirembe and the Kabaka's Palace, hashers were so ecstatic that they hardly noticed it was that Efes swill.  The hash was attended by lots of "newcomers" from Buganda including the Katikiro and the Buganda Minister of Sport (yeah, I was baffled about this one too but he had a sweet Adidas warm-up suit that said "Buganda Kingdom" on the back.  You think they need an assistant minister?  or maybe Buganda Kingdom Head Swim Coach???  I hereby submit my CV and candidacy if it means I'd get that sweet get-up)

When we arrived the water and fruit were swarmed as usual but when the dust settled the cake was cut... twice and the beer started flowing.  Ok, ok so two cakes were cut but will someone PLEASE explain to me a few things???  Why on earth is the cake and frosting here is dry?  I don't want to seem ungrateful for free cake but the frosting was like a rock.  If someone opens a bakery that can really do cake they'll make a fortune - so far my winner is the chocolate cake at Java's Cafe.  My next question is why didn't the Kabaka show up to this ragingly awesome party his little bro threw for him?  I mean, three beer stops, two cakes, music, dancing and even a few muzungus acting a fool??  What more could he ask for?

Anyway, on to the circle.  After all the cake cutting and fanfare we are, after all, still a drinking group with a running problem.  The hares were saluted with a down down but Federo couldn't be bothered to show up for his so the got a look alike (Just Charlotte) to step in.

Newcomers:
- Just Petra from Finland said she isn't married and she's searching, Tumbocide (her host father) made her come.
- Just Natalie is a new physio at IHK and she made herself come - should know those doctor-ish types are good at masturbating!
- Just Dieter from Germany is on vacation and training for a marathon - ooh la la
- Just Zora was made to come by Diggy Ass - is it just me or has Diggy Ass been making an awful lot of newcomers come lately?
Returnee - Blue Movie said that he's been hiding out in a cave

Sinners:
- Ripoff for being unintelligible when he does hash calls
- Dayo for making the rookie mistake of walking through the checkpoint circle
- Lokato and Foxy for having sex on the hash - Foxy was looking up Lokato's shorts
- Stretchmarks for thinking that her future's so bright she has to wear shades
- Thierry's Pussy and Pap Smear - now let's see if I can get this right, she shouted some kind of obscenity at him and he got so embarrassed that he blushed
- Landlord for shitting in the circle
- Knock Knees for coming late
- Perry Mason, Conman, Mupakasi and Swine Flu for wearing strange long shirts that appeared to be specially designed for the occasion

Chatterbox:
- Whopper and Leaking Balls - both for using vibrating machines during the hash
- Mechanica for directing traffic
Hash democracy found Mechanica to be the winner

Hashit:
- Cockroach who apparently rode his bike to the hash but didn't bother running
- Pisser who forgot to bring the KH3 banner to the Bududa Charity Run
- Buffalo Dung and Dick Chopper who came to the Bududa run and only drank - typical
- Idi Amin claimed there was oil when there was none

- Federo didn't wear the proper attire but he sent his (public) "defenders" in his place and the took the punishment for him - Hashit was given to the "4 Musketeers" in their funky kanzus

On! On! until next week, Solar Erection