Kaazi Run - #1409

This year's Kaazi Run was hared by Pisser as usual, and as usual hashers had a nice Saturday run while breathing more dust than actual air.  Hashers assembled at the American Recreation Association in Makindye mid-afternoon, collected their t-shirts and set off around 4:30pm.

I am admittedly slower than the average hasher but some of my highlights included being amassing the following list of greetings from children and adults along the way:

1. "Muzungu bye!!"  - this is a standard, heard at any hash where children are present
2. "See you!" - this was an interesting take, slightly different but more or less the same gist
3. "See you later!" - I felt a little bad about this because, sorry kid, you're not going to see me later
4. "How ah yoo?!" - nice touch but most of the time I wanted to scream "hot and tired!!!!!" at the poor kids so I opted for refraining from speaking instead
5. "You have to catch up, you are too lazy!"  - this guy is pretty lucky that I'm not the one he was talking to.  I may have run off the road and coughed the dust out of my lungs into his eyes
6. Something in Luganda spoken by one man to a group of men, then uncontrollable laughter - I always assume the worst of this situation, like that they're probably being totally misogynistic, sexist, dickhead-asshole-douchebags but I'm going to assume the best of people and translate what he was saying to, "Oh my goodness, look at that utterly fabulous and intelligent young lady running by!  While she is not the fastest runner I have seen, but she is giving a good effort and that is commendable.  Say, have you heard that rap that Museveni does? It's pretty funny, isn't it?"  LOL LOL LOL

The highlight of my run, though, was noticing a sign painted on the wall of a neighborhood bar stating "NO SMORKING."  For the rest of my run I was planning how I would introduce the verb "to smork" into the Red Pepper dictionary as a word that means to publicly humiliate oneself, as a senior politician, all in the hopes of gaining the youth vote in an upcoming election.  Thoughts?  If you can think of a better definition for "smork" leave  it in the comments and we can vote on the best ones.

Upon arrival at Kaazi there was plenty of fruits and water (for a change... ahem... Itching Thighs!) and hashers milled around waiting for the arrival of the final few runners.  

While on our first rounds, I overheard some asshat douchebags teasing Sad Term about having collapsed last year from heat exhaustion.  I was not at Kaazi last year but I heard about it and apparently these very same asshat douchebags did absolutely nothing to help a hasher in need.  You know who you are and you should be totally ashamed of yourselves.  I am sorry to get so serious on a blog that is usually upbeat and humorous but sometimes, things need to be said and I'm not afraid to do it.

OK, back to the circle.  Pisser lead the circle and started with asking for comments on the hash which included:

- too wet

- too dusty

- no beer stops

- no water

ANNOUNCEMENT: If you didn't get a t-shirt for the run give Pisser your size and you'll get your shirt at Run #1411 on November 22nd.

New Comers

- Eddie from Kenya seemed confused with whether he was a new-comer or a visiting hasher but he was happy to take a down-down for both.  He was in from the Nairobbery hash and was looking for a nice Ugandan woman to steal away.

- Jeremy Philips is in Kampala working to empower African children or some such nonsense.

- Anthony from North Carolina was just passing through

- Asad, who is Ugandan, single, searching and an interior designer was coming for the first time

Returnees

- Adiga has just returned from paternity leave

- Off Layer is reporting to be back from giving birth to triplets

I wonder if the two are connected...

Sinners

- Martin was probably the fastest runner at the Kaazi run this year but he came in 8th because he got lost in Makindye before he arrived at the starting line.

- Chili Sauce brought Eddie back into the circle because he came begging to Chili when asked to song us a sing.  Chili then made him sing the 3rd verse of the Kenyan National Anthem for everyone in Kiswahili.

- Johnny Walker was brought into the circle for getting the run t-shirt but then wearing a different one

- Small Hole nearly drove over White Crap because he was the last hasher, but Small Hole couldn't be located so a look-alike was chosen

Chatterbox

The award came down to Noor, who was so busy chatting that she broke a glass, and Gordon (who may not have actually known his given name) who had been chatting with Noor.  Noor won.

Baptism

Robert Musobe from the east was given the name choices of Jiggers, Roaming Jiggers and Jigger Erection.  Of course the hashers were most fond of Jigger Erection so he will now and forever be known as Jigger Erection - I was told that it has something to do with the Jigger outbreaks in Busoga and poverty being caused by Museveni.

New Shoes

Idrissa, one of the FRBs was caught with some fancy new shoes that didn't hold soda very well.

Hashit

- Prepaid Sex won Chatterbox on Monday, kept the implements for Xmas tree decoration and then lied to the Grand Master about where they were

- Kifurugunyu for just being himself

- Masolo needed a translation on something... not sure what.

Kifurugunyu won the ultimate honors/punishment.

The next hash is at MAGIC CAR WASH!  See you there.

On! On!

Solar Erection