Run 1395 - Po po po

Run 1395 – Po po po
Location: Pope John Paul II Memorial Centre, Nalukolongo
Date: - 23th August 2010
Written by Katanga Bbi

“Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life.”
George Bernard Shaw quotes (Irish literary Critic, Playwright and Essayist. 1925 Nobel Prize for Literature, 1856-1950)

(Photos Courtesy of Nipples)


A Mukiga Man in a Kabale Take away, for he firs time.
There is a lady that owns one of the most popular African Buffet Locations in Kampala, at Uganda Manufacturers Association Show Grounds at Lugogo. They’ve got a wide range of traditional African dishes, try them, it might be worth it. Anyway, I while ago, I was at this place and I heard this hilarious story of a Mukiga man and his first time in a “Take Away”.
A Take away is otherwise known as a fast food outlet and for obvious reasons; they have bee gaining popularity all over the country since their introduction in the nineties. Anyway, Deep in the Hilly highlands of the Kabale Hills, the Lugogo UMA show grounds lady, opened the very first Take Away in Kabale town. So, a few weeks later, a Mukiga man is passing by the Take Away, and attracted by the pleasant aromas he enters in side and asks for the menu. Upon being presented with menu, he goes straight to the chicken chips dish and waits a little as the meal is being prepared and ten minutes later, he is served his chicken and chips. Now, as he sat there at this table, waiting for his order, the notices the various decoration on his table that include various “reddish” bottles, match sticks that were turned upside down(probably tooth picks), Anyway, the assortment seemed more like decoration s to the fellow as he waited got this order,. When his order finally arrived, he downed it all and as he was chewing on the last bone of the chicken, a couple walked in sat at the table next to his, and ordered the same meal, chicken and chips. By the time their meal had arrived, the Mukiga Man had completed his meal, when he notices something very unusual, the couple next table had opened the red bottles and were lavishly apply the tomato sauce aka ketch up to the meal and a few drops of chili sauce, and mayonnaise. Now, the waitress who had brought the food for the next table guests had by this time reached the Mukiga man’s table and picked his plate and was walking away. The gentleman was bewildered! He kept on asking himself, eh, ha, I have missed!! Were those supposed things in the bottles supposed to be part of the meal too?? Should I order for another plate in order to taste them? How do they taste like? Etc. Why has the waitress taken away my plate?
I hear, the Mukiga man, calmly opened the top of the ketch up bottle, tasted the tomato sauce, and then down downed the entire bottle of the Tomato sauce. By this time the next table couple was in a state of shock. Then he said, eh, “a ka ni kanura munonga” (This one is very delicious), no sooner had he completed the first one then ne opened the chilly sauce a big gulp of ht contents and responded Oh o h oh oh, eh , aka ka nikashariria mununga (how come this one is so bitter), he rushed out to grab some water.
True, okay mostly true story.

Hares; The hares were Measles, Witch doctor and Nyansio.

The Run; - The run being set by FRBs who have got very little idea of how one Kilometer in longer for a none FRB took us around the Kabaka’s lake (otherwise know as Nyanja ya Kabaka in Lubaga) from the hash venue. From there, we crossed the road, amid significant cheers, applause, curses, hand claps etc from the people along the road. Then we crossed a heavily populated are somewhere in Ndeeba Kabowa and started a gentle uphill climb for about one Kilometer to the first check point. There were lots of sign posts which read the famous words Kabowa, so I guess we were in Kabowa or something. At the first check point, we had a song called Mama Milka led by Sad Term.



Sad Term Lead the song Mama Milka a the First Check Point

The Walkers were not spared this hill either, there after it was another 2.5 K run to the second check point, with the first k more of the same uphill climb. During the run to the second check point, we encountered a group of very very dark youths, very tall youths who had virtually blocked the road, you could not pass anywhere in this forest of people. It is something that you should only have been there to experience it. Maybe next time.
There was a beer stop at the second check point, the hare went an extra mile to get a cooler and some Ice flakes to chill down our beers. See pictures accompanying the blog courtesy of Nipples.


Slippery When wet enjoying one of the beers at the beer stop/ second check point.


CircleThe circle started round about 7:30 pm with the introduction of the hares and the ugly faces/new comers. Man U returning from a baby making spree, Cortilda from Port Bell, Yona Ambrose a Mukiga from the Hills of Kabale, Perhaps he was the one I was referring to, you can never be sure. He was made to come to the Hash by Kachabali. Deborah Namirembe from City Bar. There was something to do with Johnson and Olive; I do not know what exactly it was.

Sinners
Tutu and Dirty Dick for displaying sex on the Hash. Apparently, a ka thing fell into Dirty Dick’s eye, and tutu was seen helping him remove it using a sot piece of grass.
• Matooke San for Pouring beer on a Hahsette
• Abortion and the Kabale boy got into the act here too, probably for chattering.
• New shoes were from Slippery Dick and Mugole and Coming Long too. They all acted like true Hasher and did some down down with their shoes, just like true Hashers.
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Announcements; Announcements made on that day included the Saturday, run due this weekend – check out website for the details of the run, but the rest will be coming to you via phone or email.
Hash Run no: 1396
There will be a run at Bwindi Forest sometime in September, probably 2nd week. Details to be communicated to you soon.

We had a little song for Blow back who is soon leaving the country . . . Again, just like last time, probably never to return, probably he will return, He told me that he is not sure when, but it was a nice experience being with the Kampala hash. With sang with him one of the many songs that he has taught us during his stay at the KH3 Hash. Good Riddance. See pictures.
Chatter Box.
Kimansulo won this one hands down, she was nominated together with Al’s bar for this award.

Hashit
We gave out a good riddance T-shirt to blowback , it was one of these 50 Runs T-shirts which the hash Master Party Boy, decided was too clean and proceeded to clean it using all sorts of stuff, hash shoes, beers etc.



Blow Back will be leaving us again, good riddance, he's the meanest, works with the moonberg breweries, bum tittie titties bum, and lots of other songs he introduced to the Hash. At the jinja relay 2010.
Hashit Equipment. Please not, For the last three or so Mondays, our famous Hashit equipment has been missing in action. This is to warn anyone who might be holding or intending to use it as construction material for all this “mush rooming construction we are seeing around” – As said by Besigye, they are warned that they must return our equipment as soon as possible. The list of the last 4 or 5 hashits is available.
Candidates for this honor included No Money and Itching thighs. Apparently Itching thighs told Al’s Bar that she will never get Hashit, so Hackenbush whose has been on the lookout for such surely could not let her go just like that. That’s how she ended up being the hashit for the night.



ManU Was one of the returnees on the day.

Next weeks run will be held at Sebalu Suites, somewhere along the Kampala Entebbe Road, turn off is at Zana Round about. Or close to there.

Katanga Bbi

Jokes; Courtesy of Escazu HHH

1.
An old man was sitting on a bench at the mall. A young man walked up to the bench and sat down. He had spiked hair in all different colors: Green, red, orange, blue, and yellow.

The old man just stared. The young man said sarcastically, "What’s the matter old timer, never done anything wild in your life?"

Without batting an eye, the old man replied, "Got drunk once and had sex with a parrot. I was just wondering if you were my son."

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A wealthy man was having an affair with an Italian woman for several years. One night, during one of their rendezvous, she confided in him that she was pregnant. Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he paid her a large sum of money if she would move to Italy and secretly have the child. He told her that if she would raise the child, he would also provide child support until the child turned 18.

She agreed, but asked how he would know when the baby was born. To keep it discrete, he told her to simply mail him a post card, and write "Spaghetti" on the back. He would then arrange for child support payments to begin.

One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife. “Honey," she said, "you received a very strange post card today." "Oh, just give it to me and I'll explain it later," he said.

The wife obeyed and watched as her husband read the card, turned white and fainted.

She picked up the card that had written on it: "Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti. Two with meatballs, one without.”

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The only cow in a small town in southern Minnesota stopped giving milk. The farmers did some research and found that they could buy a cow from Minnesota for $200, or one from Iowa for $100. Being frugal, they bought the cow from Iowa. The cow was wonderful. It produced lots of milk all the time, and the people were amazed and very happy.

They decided to acquire a bull to mate with the cow and produce more cows like it, then they would never have to worry about the milk supply again. They bought a bull and put it in the pasture with their beloved cow. However, whenever the bull came close to the cow, the cow would move away. No matter what approach the bull tried, the cow would move away from the bull and he could not succeed in his quest.

The people were very upset and decided to ask a local Hasher, who was very wise, what to do. They told the Hasher what was happening, "Whenever the bull approaches our cow, she moves away. If he approaches from the back, she moves forward. When he approaches her from the front, she backs off. An approach from the side and she just walks away to the other side."

The Hasher thought about this for a minute and asked, "Did you buy this cow from Iowa?"

The people were dumbfounded, since they had never mentioned where they had gotten the cow. "You are truly a wise Hasher," they said. "How did you know we got the cow from Iowa?”

The Hasher answered sadly, "My wife is from Iowa."

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George W. Bush has a heart attack and dies. He goes to hell where the devil is waiting for him.

"I don't know what to do with you here, " says the devil. "You're on my list but I have no room for you. You definitely have to stay here, so I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I've got three folks here who weren't quite as bad as you. I'll let one of them go, but you have to take their place. I'll even let YOU decide who leaves."

George thought that sounded pretty good, so he agreed.

The devil opened the first room: in it was Richard Nixon and a large pool of water. He kept diving in and surfacing empty-handed over and over and over. Such was his fate in hell.

"No!" George said. "I don't think so. I'm not a good swimmer and I don't think I could do that all day long."

The devil led him to the next room: in it was Tony Blair with a sledgehammer and a room full of rocks. All he did was swing that hammer, time after time after time.

"No, I've got this problem with my shoulder. I would be in constant agony if all I could do was break rocks all day!" commented George.

The devil opened a third door. In it, George saw Bill Clinton, lying on the floor with his arms folded behind his head, and his legs staked in a spread eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what she does best.

George Bush looked at this in disbelief for a while and finally said, "Yeah, I can handle this."

The devil smiled and said . . . . . . . "OK, Monica, you're free to go!"

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Hooligan was up at Barona Casino yesterday and saw the likes of a certain un-named hasher walking up Wildcat Canyon road. Hooligan stopped to give him a lift. He noticed that the hasher was carrying a brown bag and asked "what's in the bag?"

The un-named hasher said, "Oh, it's a bottle of wine. I got it for my wife".

Hooligan thought for a second, then said...."Good Trade".
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Tarzan meets Jane:

One day TARZAN met JANE in the jungle.

She was very attracted to him and during her questions about his life she asked him how he engaged in sex.

"What's that?" he asked.

She explained to him what sex was and he said, "Oh, I just use a hole in the trunk of a tree."
Horrified, she said, "Tarzan, you have it all wrong, but I will show you how to do it properly."

She took off her clothes, laid down on the ground and spread her beautiful long legs.

"Here," she said, "you must put it in here" pointing to her crotch.

Tarzan removed his loincloth stepped closer and then gave her an almighty kick in the crotch.

Jane rolled around in agony.

Eventually she managed to gasp and exclaimed, "What the hell did you do that for?”
Tarzan meekly replied "Just checking for bees".

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A man with heavy debts walks into a bar and sees a two gallon glass jar full of $10 bills and asks the bartender what that is about.

The bartender says it is a betting jar and anyone can play.

You have to put in $10 and if you can do the three things required you win the money in the jar.

The man then asks what are the three things, but the bartender says you find out after you put in your $10.

So the man figures he can do anything and throws in his $10.

The bartender tells him the three things are:

1. Drink this fifth of rot-gut whiskey from the Pacific Coast of Nicaragua.

2. Give multiple orgasms to a 94 year old lady with Alzheimer's in room 201 upstairs.

3. Yank a rotten tooth from a champion fighting pit bull dog in a cage out back.

The man is reluctant but decides his debts push him to give it a go.

First he takes the Nicaraguan whiskey and chugs the whole bottle and is left barely standing.

Then he goes out back and the bartender could hear for 30 minutes the yelling and yelping of dog and man with ear piercing sounds.

Then the man comes back in the bar, his clothes all torn and blood oozing from all over his body, and asks, "OK, now where is that old lady with the rotten tooth?"!