KH3 Run No. 1366

Run 1366 – Oasis Restaurant and Bar, Lugogo National Council Building Kampala.

Date: - 8^th March 2010 –Women’s Day.

Location; - About two kilometers along the Kampala-Jinja Road, turn off at Shoprite Junction, you just can’t miss it.

Written by Katanga Bbi

Hares; The Hares were Hot Pants, Kwashakor and Nipples who hired the services of veteran hasher Dirty Dick to assist them in setting of the run. Due to a technical fault arising from some miscommunication, it was turned out to be a partly live hare run. Yours truly did not do the run, I just came in at the time when the run had ended so most of this narrative is partly a concoction, but enjoy.

Up Circle; - Wasn’t there.

The Run;-

Didn’t do it, arrived at the venue at the end of the run to see Hashers warming down after the run, adorned with this pinkish ribbon, and the Hares in custom made pink tops. But from what I had about the run, Hackenbush organized a beer stop somewhere around the half way point of the run, where he met this Harriet who helped drive his car back and himself did the run from this beer stop. The Harriet who did this favor is one veteran runner who has competed in several half Marathons around the world including Cincinnati, Florida, etc, plus of course our very own recent 2009 MTN Kampala Marathon’s Half Marathon race. By the way, for this marathon, she claimed that she was completely satisfied with herself after coming in a few seconds before Dirty Dick (who did the Full Marathon) arrived. I will update you on her Hash Handle later. Watch this space. (It might be Loose Comer, but I am yet to confirm this) Other notable rumors that I heard about this run included Dirty Dick’s remarks that “Oyo Mukyala Kilabika ssi Mwangu!”, (literally meaning that ‘It seems that that lady is not so easy”, referring to one of the Hariette’s of the day that he had helped mark the run with. he claimed that at many stages during the marking of the run, he would advise her that the best thing for all would be to go down, she always chose to go up, other times it would have made more sense to go in she insisted to go out. It was beginning to sound like a twenty toes argument so I left it at that.

Overall, many of the w*****rs whom I asked about the run said it was very long! Apparently, since the day was a public Holiday, the run started at 5:00 pm or there about, but you cannot believe that many Hashers were returning around 6:50 pm.

The circle.

At least I was there for the circle, so this bit is based on eye witness accounts. The Circle was conducted mostly by Hackenbush, at the verandah of oasis Restaurant, overlooking the lash green turf of the Lugogo Cricket oval, He was assisted by Queenie, the Hash beers, who by the way promised me a beer, but never made up on that promise. A beer was going for a shocking high 3,000/= (about 1 and a half dollars). A little bit steeper than the regular 2,500/= or more preferred 2K. Anyway, I will not complain about that.

Ugly Faces; -

Among the newcomers and returnees, we had Bwindi who is somehow connected with Addis Ababa and Bangladesh, Benon, a Kampala Based Businessman who was made to come by Saddam, Nakitende Dinah, Macho, Frida Nsubuga a returnee who has been based in the dense valleys of Congo, we had a song by the visiting Hasher(see photos), that was in English English, not Ugandan English so I missed most of it. However, the few words that I heard include

I am a Jolly hasher

I met a jolly Harriet

Well you are jolly Hasher

And well we are two jolly Hashers etc.

Sounded like B*****t to me anyway.

Sinners; Among the sinners on this day were Loose Comer, Foxy, Dirty Dick, Big Ball and Mugole who things ht I do not remember now. New Shoes we had Big Balls, and yours truly who came in office shoes and had to taste the frothy stuff with all that Carbon. Yuck!! I hope you know what carbon is . . .Not the real carbon as in global warming, but something called Carbon-mu-gere meaning that nice smelling perfume that your shoes and toes produce after you have been walking around them the whole day. We also had another new Shoes in land Lord. Nipples instantly made herself a sinner when she got on to the empty crate that we use to make announcements on. I could call this a hash radio but that this could turn out to be a stale joke. Any way any way anyway . . Let’s continue . . . Nipples accused the hash Master of being Sexist when he only recognized the winner of the 7 Hills runs that is the male winner only, and forgot to recognize the first female who crossed the finishing point first. (Not the use of words twice, but don’t worry too much about it) Anyway she said this was a strange anomaly and called upon the hashes for redress. Of course you all know won the 7Hills run Female version – it was Nipples in a time of 1:49:45 second for the 19.3 KM uphill then downward run.

Announcements; Announcements made on that day included next week’s run due to take place at Bubbles O’Leary, (actually, as I write this, this run did take place so this is more of a historical article than anything else. It was a t. Patrick’s day run, which Hillary explained to me that it is held in Commemoration of St. Patrick who brought Christianity to Ireland long long ago.

Chatterboxes; - I missed recording this part completely; you see I was so distracted by Kwash who was showing me how to use my camera better. He flash had refused to go on and we were busy trying to figure out a way to get it back on. It’s a long story, but anyway, I did not get the name of the Chatter box.

Hashshit;- The winner of this most prestigious prize was Buffalo Dung who was nabbed because he was continually shouting out Crucify him aimed towards Dip Stick who too was a nominee for this award and Nipples the third nominee for this most prestigious award after her earlier transgression involving the Hash master and his alleged sexism.

Dinner

The Circle ended at about 8:00 pm and it was dinner time. Dinner was composed of Boiled rice and beef. Actually earlier before the circle, Hot pants, the Hash Mattress indicated to me that she was a little disappointed with the turn up today as we had barely broken the 70 mark and yet we had made an order for more than 120 plates. So you can imagine that the extra meat that was left un attended too. Hash Flash, Rip Off must have taken home a lot of left over for his dogs to feast on that day. He usually collects them. The cause for the lower turn up might be attributed to the rains that had threatened to spoil the day for us or the huge crack down that is going on those who do not pay. The majority of us had our dinner in that hall under the National Council office, where Hash Master Party Boy surprised us with an impromptu karaoke session. You should have been there. It was so hilarious I am still laughing.

Karaoke

A form of entertainment, offered typically by bars and night Clubs, in which people take turns to sing popular songs into a microphone over pre-recorded backing tracks`- Oxford Dictionary of English. Now I am beginning to know why he is called Party Boy, He surely does know how to get a party going. We had a Karaoke session just after dinner and first one to have a go at it was Kwash who scored 80 and came back a second time to score an amazing 86. The race was over before it even begun. Next to take on the mic was Buffalo Dung who scored 77 and then 86. Meanwhile, I was still amazed at how well those people were working the mic, hash master insisted that I give it a try, and I went to look out for the ka- book that contains the numbers to the songs. I really wanted to try out the very popular Paulo Kafeero’s classical song “Bladina Ndibakowa”, but the book did not have this song, so I settled for UB 40’s Kingston Town where I got 77 then Phil Collin’s Another day in paradise where I scored 79 and then to crown it all, I did Elton John’s Sacrifice where, believe it or not, I scored an outstanding 90. IO felt like releasing a Hit Single on the Spot, the new Chameleon, probably calling myself something like Katanga-meleon or something. Any way, anyway, anyway, the Karaoke had to go on. We had Porn Master who sang ‘Physical’ get Physical etc. song and he scored 72 for his brilliant effort, although the song simply has too many words I think, we had Dick Chopper who asked for “Macarena”, only problem that the song has is that it comes in Spanish or Portuguese and as you know, the problem is that Dick Chopper does not know a single word of those languages. So there she was waiting for the only words that she knew. . that part where they say “Eeeeeeh Macarena’. She ran away from the microphone, and then returned to it. In the end she scored 21. This was the lowest points scored for the evening. The music industry is tough business my dear friend. Then to crown it all, we had the indefatigable Dayo who came to the mic with all of this 897 runs showing, smiling ear to ear as usual. He first scored 41 then later scored 33 with the hit single My Endless Love. You should have been there to witness this, however, a picture speaks a thousand words. Overall it was a night to remember.

On On

There are no endings, Only new beginnings

Katanga Bbi