Date;- 31st January 2011
Hash Venue;- Jojo’s Restaurant and Bar, Makindye. Location; about 200 M along the Road that goes to
Makindye after the Police Station at the Roundabout with the big Coca Cola Bottle along the Entebbe Road.
Hares;- Al’s bar, Warm Beer and Big Sam.
Up Circle; - The up circle was called by Hash Master Virus a few minutes to six. Prior to that there was a mini-riot
over the Distribution of the Hillary erection T-shirt, but I think that the Hash Mattress Chadwick plus Dry Climax
handled the near T-shirts rioters perfectly well, everybody, almost everybody who paid got themselves a T-shirts
and we were ready to paint Makindi Hillary. . . . As in Paint the Town Red, Paint Makindi Hillary!!. During the
Up circle, Hash Master Big Counter encouraged us to give the area residents aloud cheer for Hillary at any or all
opportunities.
The Run; - The Run started with a big loop that was taken by both Hashers and Walkers and the return found
us crossing the road to meet the Walkers and proceed down towards the Underground pass along the Queen’s
Way, where we had a check back.
It was all merry as the fun loving hashers give it their best in making as much noise about Hillary as possible,
during the course of all this, I realize that Hillary, could be referred to by so many names; Omusawo, Omuzungu,
Omusawo omutendeke, Busuulwa (as it appear on the Poster), Doctor, Doctor Iyani etc.
The trail was quite amazing as it was marked with the precession of Hashers who happen to have more than
1,500 combined runs. The check Point was louder than usual, with songs that are patriotic to GM Hillary being
song, and 7ou could see Hillary basking in the limelight. Everywhere we went, the voters were asking, where is
he? And of course as soon as he appeared, you could here them shout out to hi words of encouragement,
After the run, I asked him if he too had carried out an opinion poll and he told me that he had indeed carried out
an opinion poll and that results from this very scientific poll showed that he was leading with more than 80%
of the vote. At the next opportunity, i will ask him if he was also affected by that close in which more than 70
people were affected. On On
The last part of the run involved a very long dusty uphill climb to very top of the Makindye Hill, and then a
long down Hill decent to the Hash Venue. I seemed to notice that Hillary was heavily guarded by an elite
Special Forces unit that seemed to make some sort of discrete protective semi circle, I wonder if my eyes were
deceiving me.
The circle.
The circle started round about 7:00pm with the introduction of the hares and the ugly faces/new comers. The
water was enough, fruits were coming in batches but they too were more than enough. The new comers and
returnees included Francis, Brenda who was made to come by Hillary, Abdu, etc. I could not see properly as the
whole place was dark so I cannot read my own handwritting. But there is always next time. So I got bored with
writing, and the rest is from the hazy recollection of my mind.
Sinners;
•Rip Off for not commenting on why a certain bank had registered record losses of this year of almost a
billion shillings in just the first month of operations since the year begun.
•Kamdulu for having gone to receive medals of honour in Masaka over the weekend. Kamdulu receive
d the coveted Luweero and Nalubale Medals of honour, over the Weekedn of the Liberation Day
celebrations. He mentioned to me that these are medals that are given to civilians who made significant
contributions to the liberation struggles.
Bomber Bomber for enjoying watching two grown men pummeling themselves mercilessly on television
as he attended he recent boxing championships at Lugogo.
Mupakasi for having kupakasad his way to the top of the list of the youngest Tycoons in the country,
as released recently by the popular tabloid Red Pepper. He told me later that this article was causing
significant discomfort to him as he had received several telephone calls from all sorts of people who had
come forth to register their appreciation for joining this list, and were enticing him to contribute to their
weddings, graduation parties etc. Since Mupakasi was not around, Conman, a fellow Liar, replaced him
as a sinner.
We had Pap smear, Kwashakior (I can never get the spelling of that name right (is at Kwashakor,
Kwashakoir or what) and Brenda getting on their knees for getting down downs for chattering
throughout the circle. Plus Kandahar somehow getting involved in as a sinner for something I do not
recall.
Bean counter was nominated for a sinner for having pushed some ka kid who was running with the
Hashers during the run. This necessitated the rest of the available GMs to get down downs too.
Buffalo dung was nominated for something here too.
Chatterboxes; - Do not recall who won this one.
Hashshit;-
This one had one clear candidate for the award, and that candidate was Mupakasi. However after he had all but
accepted the award and were going into the process of conferring the award on him, someone noticed that a
queue was already beginning to form at the food and them the goon squad picked on this guy, called Ch**s, I do
not know his Hash handle, however, he fell victim to the highest honor of the Hash.
Important note: - There is a Hash, without a Hash Handle, who offered six crates of beer and two crates of Soda
to all members present after dinner. His name is Francis Kiwanuka. An announcement was made by Hillary
about his new offer and Hashers were invited to participate in the partaking of this offer. This free drink carried
us out throughout the rest of the evening. On On Francis.
Check out the photos from the run, they are courtesy of Nagawa, thanks for the pics Nagawa on on.
On On
Katanga Bbi
Monday, March 14, 2011
Monday, January 24, 2011
Run #1420 - Hooter's Pub - Old School Run
Run 1420: Hooters Pub – Lugogo
Hares: Two Dicks i.e. Dirty Dick and Dick Chopper
The Run: Old School Run
Dress Code: Uniforms of your former school.
Location: Hooters bar and Restaurant @UMA Show Grounds
Okay, so when I think of an Old school run, the first think that comes to mind is a cute little Catholic girl pleated pleid shirt, and a button down shirt for the guys. But in true Hash style, there was nothing cute about the run! All the cute was ripped out of the uniforms leaving behind a bunch of drunks in under sized literally old school uniforms parading the streets of Nakawa-Jinja road. It was a pretty awesome run, because realistically, wouldn’t you rather see cleavage’s gigantic cleavage popping out of her Makerere College uniform, rather than some cute little 12 year old?! My thoughts exactly!!
Hashers represented schools from all over the country. You had Katanga Bbi representing Nakasero Primary School, Arrow girl rocking her Namagunga Secondary School, and Linda ( She doesn’t have a hash handle) wearing probably the oldest Buganda road primary school uniform ever know to man!
The rest of the run was pretty basic with walkers walking, Hashers hashing and runners running.
The Circle:
Announcements: Africa Inter-hash in Addis Ababa, registration is in process. Next weeks’ Run 1421, is at Linda Country Club, Kyaliwajara , Namugongo Road.
New Comers and Returnees: The new comers were; a business lady in Kampala called Sanda, then we had a Hassan from Egypt who just went on and on about what he was doing in Uganda.
For the Returnees, we had a Hannes, I am not sure where he was from, and I did not get his hash handle either. We also had a returnee called Joyce, who was quite the hand shaker, she literally shook hands with everyone in the circle!
The Awards:
The Best dressed hasher was Hackenbush, and best dressed Hashette was Hot pants. The best dressed couple was Solar erection and Katanga Bii.
The Award of the night; The Hash shit, went to none other than Hot Pants and Doctor!
That’s all Folks!
Narrow Arrow ;-)
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Run 1421 - Linda Country Club
Run 1421 Linda Country Club, Kyaliwajara , Namugongo Road.
Location; drive along Jinja Road until you get to Kireka Town, At Kireka Town, branch off and take that Namugongo Road Road and continue along that road for about one and a half Kilometers till you get to Linda Country Resort.
Date; Monday, 17th January 2011
Hares; Doom.
The Run;
It was a run that made you feel like some sort of running martyr. The Hare forgot to put the check points, then we were trapped at the very beginning into a check back which we or the FRBs ignored and proceeded to find their own way, thereby making them w****rs the majority of whom could have been recovering weekend hangovers, needlessly run an extra kilometer or so.
At one point in the run, It felt like the route had been marked by a boda boda man, with no concept of how many runs many of us have been running, we stuck by the rules, doing loops residential houses etc until we came to the first check pint, which to my dismay found deserted as the rest of the w****rs proceeded on to the next check point.
Truth be told, toward the end of the run, we encountered the walkers looking for their way back. It was a wonderfully timed run, giving you a taste of the semi countryside, (if there is such a word) and a god stretching run back home to the Hash venue.
The circle.
Announcements; The 7 Hills is on, and taking place on Sunday 20th March 2011. Registration will start on the 1st of Feb and end on the 19th of Feb. there will be no registration of the race day itself.
Next week’s run will take place at Victoria Suites, Najja along the Kampala Entebbe Road.
A new database for SMS messages is being compiled right from scratch, so the old list was completely erased and a new one is being built right from scratch. So for those who would like to be receiving SMS blasts about Kh3 activities, you need to do a re-registration asap, otherwise, without this, you will not be getting any phone messages and do not say but eeeeyeeee!?
New Comers and Returnees
We had a hasher and his hashette all the way from Stockholm, California (I think that is where Stockholm is located), I did not get the Hasher’s Name, but the Hashette was called Eve.
We had Vivi from Kenya, who has Hashed before with the Nairobberies, and the Hash House in Accra Ghana.
We had Daniel who works with VSO and was made to come by Dip Stick.
We had flora who works in Kampala, just like everyone else who was made to come by Mercenary
We had a song sung to us in Dutch by the visiting Couple from Stockholm, most of the song was in Dutch and must have been about the sweet nectar that beer is.
The visiting Hashette from Accra and nairobery gave us a joke about a Cross eyed guy who met another crossed eyed guy. 5I did not get the rest of the joke but she indeed deserved the down down.
Sinners;-
Hackenbush remarked that he had met a Hashete at the traffic control lights in Nakawa and this Hashette had committed some kind of felony at those lights. (I wonder, if Hachenbush has turned into some traffic or should we call it owa tulaffiki, traffic cop these days). That sinner was the Nairobery Newbie.
Hackenbush mentioned that there is a Land Lord on the Addis Africa hash 2011Website and this Land Lord off the Ethiopian trails has something to do with sh*ts a lot.
Etonya tonya also came on board as sinners,
Big Sam was called to the circle for having been on the news and on BBC too he past week for some story that I do not know of, then Galloping Major was called to the circle for advertising himself in the newspapers too. Big Sam was not around so Rip off stood in for him. (Knelt in for him is more appropriate.)
Chatterboxes;-
A hasher whose name I did not get herself a new Hash Handle as in Yellow Fever. Apparently she words in the ministry of Health, she is a bio chemist or something of the sort.
Hashshit;- The Nominees for the most prestigious award were;-
There was another baptism, and I think that the newly baptized fella was called Dirty ……. Too complicated to mention in the noble pages.
Till next time, on on.
Katanga
By the way, you need to register real quick for the Addis 2011 Africa Hash, it wil be the highliht of the year, drinking beer which was meant by St. geroge himself, Addis here we come.!!!
Friday, December 10, 2010
Run 1415 - Nommo Gallery
Run 1415 Nommo Gallery
Hares – mama mia, assisted by a boda boda.
Venue – Nommo Gallery opposite the Presidential lodge / state house in Nakasero. You cannot miss it.
The Run.
The run begun with a false trail downhill towards Ruwenzori courts, the ensuing check back brought us back to reach the All saints Church, where the walkers had an on on while the Runners and hashers went down little bit and run the entire bit (I do not know if they call that road Kyaddondo road) then past he former offices of USAID to that place just before the Private Sector Foundation Uganda where we had our first check point 9at that junction)
Then it was a climb up and past the blood bank then down again till we reached that place that used to have a Chinese restaurant, I think that restaurant is still there but I forget the name of the restaurant. This is where we heard our second check point. . . Not so sure about the position of the second check point but I remember there was a time at which we went down towards Hotel fairway, then round till we got to the Nakasero Primary School Football field where we had a check point. Probably this was the third check point. Then from the third check point it was an on in through that road which separates the Royale Imperial Hotel and Serena Hotel Kampala, up past Mosa courts past Rock gardens with all those wonderful memories then on in to Nommo gallery.
The circle
Rather subdued I would call it, there were a couple of visiting Hashers putting on jeans and white T-shirts, they claimed to have been visiting us from New York. They gave us a song, which by the way, this almost earned them hashit, they sounded like they were reciting the famous epic poem “The Iliad”.
Chatter box and Hashit were awarded (details are still coming in although some w*****rs are blocking the website where I get most of my information because they are sympathetic to the Wiki leaks guy who tells people things that were done to them that they should not be knowing and this make the people who have received this new information very very pissed off. (This is a short version of explaining everything about what is going on wikileaks)(I do hope those hackers do not start bombarding the KH3 blog with all sorts of data to slow it down,)(I am laughing at my own joke, time to check myself in at the nearest rehab)
Anyway, that was that, the mood was a little bit subdued, the management I heard later could only offer us one small table for our food so everything was served there, the caterer did not come with forks or spoons of knives so it was eating with the fingers, quite memorable if you asked me, by the way there was no water at the venue so basically, the situation was more of (our neighbors washed their hands after eating at the wedding party), there were no seat but the grass did just fine. The food was hot, so hot that it could scald your fingers. Beer was going for either 3,500 or 4K while the sodas were going for 1,500/=
Announcements made that day included the next Monday run that is due to be held at Danny’s Corner, somewhere in Muyenga towards the stone Quarry, (around there there, look out for the mango tree and a man grazing tow cows) while the run after that would be the club silk Christmas run, come with your dancing shoes, red and white is the dress code.
On On
Katanga
.
Hares – mama mia, assisted by a boda boda.
Venue – Nommo Gallery opposite the Presidential lodge / state house in Nakasero. You cannot miss it.
The Run.
The run begun with a false trail downhill towards Ruwenzori courts, the ensuing check back brought us back to reach the All saints Church, where the walkers had an on on while the Runners and hashers went down little bit and run the entire bit (I do not know if they call that road Kyaddondo road) then past he former offices of USAID to that place just before the Private Sector Foundation Uganda where we had our first check point 9at that junction)
Then it was a climb up and past the blood bank then down again till we reached that place that used to have a Chinese restaurant, I think that restaurant is still there but I forget the name of the restaurant. This is where we heard our second check point. . . Not so sure about the position of the second check point but I remember there was a time at which we went down towards Hotel fairway, then round till we got to the Nakasero Primary School Football field where we had a check point. Probably this was the third check point. Then from the third check point it was an on in through that road which separates the Royale Imperial Hotel and Serena Hotel Kampala, up past Mosa courts past Rock gardens with all those wonderful memories then on in to Nommo gallery.
The circle
Rather subdued I would call it, there were a couple of visiting Hashers putting on jeans and white T-shirts, they claimed to have been visiting us from New York. They gave us a song, which by the way, this almost earned them hashit, they sounded like they were reciting the famous epic poem “The Iliad”.
Chatter box and Hashit were awarded (details are still coming in although some w*****rs are blocking the website where I get most of my information because they are sympathetic to the Wiki leaks guy who tells people things that were done to them that they should not be knowing and this make the people who have received this new information very very pissed off. (This is a short version of explaining everything about what is going on wikileaks)(I do hope those hackers do not start bombarding the KH3 blog with all sorts of data to slow it down,)(I am laughing at my own joke, time to check myself in at the nearest rehab)
Anyway, that was that, the mood was a little bit subdued, the management I heard later could only offer us one small table for our food so everything was served there, the caterer did not come with forks or spoons of knives so it was eating with the fingers, quite memorable if you asked me, by the way there was no water at the venue so basically, the situation was more of (our neighbors washed their hands after eating at the wedding party), there were no seat but the grass did just fine. The food was hot, so hot that it could scald your fingers. Beer was going for either 3,500 or 4K while the sodas were going for 1,500/=
Announcements made that day included the next Monday run that is due to be held at Danny’s Corner, somewhere in Muyenga towards the stone Quarry, (around there there, look out for the mango tree and a man grazing tow cows) while the run after that would be the club silk Christmas run, come with your dancing shoes, red and white is the dress code.
On On
Katanga
.
Monday, December 6, 2010
Hash #1414 - Palm Bar, Kisasi
Date: November 29, 2010
Hares: Mahoganess and Buffalo Dung
On my way to the hash on this particular Monday I happened to run into Defaulter and guest on a boda boda. Not knowing exactly where the hash was I offered them a ride and proceeded to be directed in what I was sure was a really bad way to go. We were basically off-roading through the village but then, to my surprise, and I'm pretty sure it surprised Defaulter too, we ended up on the right road and got there with 3 minutes to spare, which was plenty of time for Defaulter to stuff his pockets with free condoms that were all over a table inside the courtyard.
I took it easy and joined the hashers as I was feeling a bit under the weather after a wild hash bash but even so, we all started with a nice mountain climbing journey, followed closely by a mountain descent. The FRBs leaped and bounded down like mountain goats, when all I could imagine was my ankles giving out, my feet sliding on the loose maram and tumbling down the mountain in a painful and embarrassing fit - accompanied, not doubt, by hashers' raucous laughter.
During one check point we had, not a beer stop, but a whiskey stop. I believe it was Johnny Walker red label and it came complete mixers compliments of Perry Mason.
The rest of the run was uneventful except for the exodus of dragonflies that was going on over our heads. I had never seen anything like it but there must have been something damn good at the end of their flight because there were thousands!
In the circle we found out that hashers found the run too short, too dusty, too wet, not enough condoms and not enough whiskey.
Announcements:
- Next Hash - so, knowing what I know now, the next hash (that happened just before I sat down to write this blog) is actually at Nomo Gallery, but Mpuuta announced that it was going to be at Fly Zone in Kajjansi, zeya zeya! Mpuuta!! What happened?!
- Kampala MTN Marathon is featuring a KH3 tent as usual including breakfast for 5,000/- and beer for 1,000/- thanks to the grand masters
New Comers:
- Steven from Mukono came with thanks to Defaulter
Returnees:
- Gogolo has been out campaigning for M7, I actually heard that that stupid "You Want another Rap" song was Gogolo's idea...
- Fuggles is apparently very married but I wasn't sure if she was trying to brag or if she was complaining. But then she announced that she does 2 hashes per year so I stopped caring.
Sinners:
- Mechanica reached the hash at 6:30pm when everyone knows that the hash is actually THE only thing in Kampala that starts on time: 6 on the dot!
- Brenda got in trouble for playing with the hash tools - I guess that means she was playing with Queenie and Buffalo Dung? they're tools right?
- Dirty Dick, even though he has a very important place on the mismanagement committee as hash horn, didn't show up to the hash bash.
- Faisal got in trouble for not announcing himself as a new comer
Chatterbox:
No new offenses, these people just talk a lot so no real need for explanation. The nominees were Al's Bar, Kumamaji, Ali, Laura, Tutu and Topher. Kumamaji took home the honors.
Hash Shit:
- Sudhir for speaking out against sex on the hash
- Defaulter for having sex on the hash
Of course Defaulter won the honors because he's just that kind of guy.
On! On!
Solar Erection
Hares: Mahoganess and Buffalo Dung
On my way to the hash on this particular Monday I happened to run into Defaulter and guest on a boda boda. Not knowing exactly where the hash was I offered them a ride and proceeded to be directed in what I was sure was a really bad way to go. We were basically off-roading through the village but then, to my surprise, and I'm pretty sure it surprised Defaulter too, we ended up on the right road and got there with 3 minutes to spare, which was plenty of time for Defaulter to stuff his pockets with free condoms that were all over a table inside the courtyard.
I took it easy and joined the hashers as I was feeling a bit under the weather after a wild hash bash but even so, we all started with a nice mountain climbing journey, followed closely by a mountain descent. The FRBs leaped and bounded down like mountain goats, when all I could imagine was my ankles giving out, my feet sliding on the loose maram and tumbling down the mountain in a painful and embarrassing fit - accompanied, not doubt, by hashers' raucous laughter.
During one check point we had, not a beer stop, but a whiskey stop. I believe it was Johnny Walker red label and it came complete mixers compliments of Perry Mason.
The rest of the run was uneventful except for the exodus of dragonflies that was going on over our heads. I had never seen anything like it but there must have been something damn good at the end of their flight because there were thousands!
In the circle we found out that hashers found the run too short, too dusty, too wet, not enough condoms and not enough whiskey.
Announcements:
- Next Hash - so, knowing what I know now, the next hash (that happened just before I sat down to write this blog) is actually at Nomo Gallery, but Mpuuta announced that it was going to be at Fly Zone in Kajjansi, zeya zeya! Mpuuta!! What happened?!
- Kampala MTN Marathon is featuring a KH3 tent as usual including breakfast for 5,000/- and beer for 1,000/- thanks to the grand masters
New Comers:
- Steven from Mukono came with thanks to Defaulter
Returnees:
- Gogolo has been out campaigning for M7, I actually heard that that stupid "You Want another Rap" song was Gogolo's idea...
- Fuggles is apparently very married but I wasn't sure if she was trying to brag or if she was complaining. But then she announced that she does 2 hashes per year so I stopped caring.
Sinners:
- Mechanica reached the hash at 6:30pm when everyone knows that the hash is actually THE only thing in Kampala that starts on time: 6 on the dot!
- Brenda got in trouble for playing with the hash tools - I guess that means she was playing with Queenie and Buffalo Dung? they're tools right?
- Dirty Dick, even though he has a very important place on the mismanagement committee as hash horn, didn't show up to the hash bash.
- Faisal got in trouble for not announcing himself as a new comer
Chatterbox:
No new offenses, these people just talk a lot so no real need for explanation. The nominees were Al's Bar, Kumamaji, Ali, Laura, Tutu and Topher. Kumamaji took home the honors.
Hash Shit:
- Sudhir for speaking out against sex on the hash
- Defaulter for having sex on the hash
Of course Defaulter won the honors because he's just that kind of guy.
On! On!
Solar Erection
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Run 1413 - Hash Bash - Royal Suites Bugolobi
Run 1413 – Hash Bash – Royal Suites Bugolobi
Hare: Al’s Bar
Date; Saturday 27th November 2010
The Run;-
The Run begun from the swanky or is it Swampy Suites (it seemed to me like a lot of land reclamation too place expanding the place from like one quarter acre to Foot ball fields of space right in the middle of the City) but that too is a story for another day.
From the venue, a check back brought us to our senses then up we went to run along Binayomba Road, till that place as you approach the Bugolobi Flats, then down into some kind of Katanga-like place behind the flats of Bugolobi to reach the check point numero uno at that place where there is still a football field waiting to be reclaimed by some developer soon. Anyway, this place overlooks the Bugolobi flats. We had a song from Dayo, using some chick (I do hope it’s not sexiest to use that word Hackenbush) as illustration. I think it was that song, ‘ if she were a single and she was to marry, she would marry a mechanic more than any other, for he would screw and she would screw, they would screw together, right I the middle of ………………… screwing one another. (Oh dear, I beg for forgiveness)
Then round we went round about there-there (as Mpuuta like to call it) till we got to some Washing bay along the Bugolobi – Kitintale Road. Then with we climbed that road that leadeth ( a little chakespeare in me)( or is it shakespear) to the MTN switch, where by the mercy of his most gracious, most merciful I once entered and saw ‘network’ live with my very own two eyes. Just before the MTN switch, we went down to reach the Bugolobi market, through the market and climb that Hill that has got a church and half way through the Hill we took a left turn and a gentler climb and an equally gentle decent past what looked to me like some kind of educational institution, to the second check point.
At the second check point, we got another song from Dayo, this one about body parts movements, then a basic on in took us right back to the Suites. My estimate is about 4 – 6 K.
We are glad to have received some green T-shirts, prior to the run.
The Circle
The fruits were generous by all proportions. The circle was held, the number of participants in the run were about 50 or so. Not too bad for a Saturday run. (I am trying to sound as unaffected as possible)
We had Afirfart as a returnee. Who claimed that she had been on tour working, when the more informed of us know that she had been busy making babies.
Sinners included Afrifart, Perry mason, Loketo, Saddam, Galloping Major and Kandahar and a few newer Hashers.
Chatter box went to Solar Erection after she won a close encounter with Porn Master
Hash Shit or should we call it Bash Shit went out to Toilet Kiss after Arrow gal rejected her nomination and instead nominated the one who nominated her Solar Erection because there was no magazine this Hash year.
The rest, as they say is mere wolokoso.
After the circle, it was a break for one hour to freshen up then the real fun started. But the full details of the fun, what went so dead wrong, what went so right, who fought with who, who wanted to telephone whose wife that the husband at the Hash kisses so many wankerettes excluding her and that she too wanted to be one of them, How some idiot closed down the entire Hash bash so prematurely, being ordered to sing national anthems, being ordered to stand up, being forced to switch off television and the like, who sleeps with who after just buying her one beer, erections that took place and the drama of the electoral process, how many moonberg lager were drank, who won what award, and basically that sort of thing, the full details are going to be brung to you after the people from WIKILEAKS have approved them. On on
By the way we know exactly how each one of you voted, each ballot paper was corresponding to the number that registered with, and we matched the numbers and now know the details so we are going to concentrate the Hash Shits of this year to those one on the NO side. Actually I plan to ask Hajji Aziz kaPisser to publish the details of this list. It might be interesting.
Anyway, anyway, anyway, Nsanyuse.
Katanga BBI
By the way, here is a joke for you, I got it from Hash Master Party Boy, it was meant for that Magazine that did not come out this year. On On
Making a baby. This is hilarious!
The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, 'Well, I'm off now. The man should be here soon.'
Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. 'Good morning, Ma'am', he said, 'I've come to...'
'Oh, no need to explain,' Mrs. Smith cut in, embarrassed, 'I've been expecting you.'
'Have you really?' said the photographer. 'Well, that's good. Did you know babies are my specialty?'
'Well that's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat'.
After a moment she asked, blushing, 'Well, where do we start?'
'Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the living room floor is fun. You can really spread out there.'
'Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work out for Harry and me!'
'Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results.'
'My, that's a lot!', gasped Mrs. Smith.
'Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I'd love to be In and out in five minutes, but I'm sure you'd be disappointed with that.'
'Don't I know it,' said Mrs. Smith quietly.
The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. 'This was done on the top of a bus,' he said.
'Oh, my word!' Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at her throat.
'And these twins turned out exceptionally well - when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with.'
'She was difficult?' asked Mrs. Smith.
'Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep to get a good look'
'Four and five deep?' said Mrs. Smith, her eyes wide with amazement.
'Yes', the photographer replied. 'And for more than three hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly concentrate, and when darkness approached I had to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just had to pack it all in.'
Mrs. Smith leaned forward. 'Do you mean they actually chewed on your, uh...equipment?'
'It's true, Ma'am, yes.. Well, if you're ready, I'll set-up my tripod and we can get to work right away.'
'Tripod?'
'Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big to be held in the hand very long.'
Mrs. Smith fainted
Hare: Al’s Bar
Date; Saturday 27th November 2010
The Run;-
The Run begun from the swanky or is it Swampy Suites (it seemed to me like a lot of land reclamation too place expanding the place from like one quarter acre to Foot ball fields of space right in the middle of the City) but that too is a story for another day.
From the venue, a check back brought us to our senses then up we went to run along Binayomba Road, till that place as you approach the Bugolobi Flats, then down into some kind of Katanga-like place behind the flats of Bugolobi to reach the check point numero uno at that place where there is still a football field waiting to be reclaimed by some developer soon. Anyway, this place overlooks the Bugolobi flats. We had a song from Dayo, using some chick (I do hope it’s not sexiest to use that word Hackenbush) as illustration. I think it was that song, ‘ if she were a single and she was to marry, she would marry a mechanic more than any other, for he would screw and she would screw, they would screw together, right I the middle of ………………… screwing one another. (Oh dear, I beg for forgiveness)
Then round we went round about there-there (as Mpuuta like to call it) till we got to some Washing bay along the Bugolobi – Kitintale Road. Then with we climbed that road that leadeth ( a little chakespeare in me)( or is it shakespear) to the MTN switch, where by the mercy of his most gracious, most merciful I once entered and saw ‘network’ live with my very own two eyes. Just before the MTN switch, we went down to reach the Bugolobi market, through the market and climb that Hill that has got a church and half way through the Hill we took a left turn and a gentler climb and an equally gentle decent past what looked to me like some kind of educational institution, to the second check point.
At the second check point, we got another song from Dayo, this one about body parts movements, then a basic on in took us right back to the Suites. My estimate is about 4 – 6 K.
We are glad to have received some green T-shirts, prior to the run.
The Circle
The fruits were generous by all proportions. The circle was held, the number of participants in the run were about 50 or so. Not too bad for a Saturday run. (I am trying to sound as unaffected as possible)
We had Afirfart as a returnee. Who claimed that she had been on tour working, when the more informed of us know that she had been busy making babies.
Sinners included Afrifart, Perry mason, Loketo, Saddam, Galloping Major and Kandahar and a few newer Hashers.
Chatter box went to Solar Erection after she won a close encounter with Porn Master
Hash Shit or should we call it Bash Shit went out to Toilet Kiss after Arrow gal rejected her nomination and instead nominated the one who nominated her Solar Erection because there was no magazine this Hash year.
The rest, as they say is mere wolokoso.
After the circle, it was a break for one hour to freshen up then the real fun started. But the full details of the fun, what went so dead wrong, what went so right, who fought with who, who wanted to telephone whose wife that the husband at the Hash kisses so many wankerettes excluding her and that she too wanted to be one of them, How some idiot closed down the entire Hash bash so prematurely, being ordered to sing national anthems, being ordered to stand up, being forced to switch off television and the like, who sleeps with who after just buying her one beer, erections that took place and the drama of the electoral process, how many moonberg lager were drank, who won what award, and basically that sort of thing, the full details are going to be brung to you after the people from WIKILEAKS have approved them. On on
By the way we know exactly how each one of you voted, each ballot paper was corresponding to the number that registered with, and we matched the numbers and now know the details so we are going to concentrate the Hash Shits of this year to those one on the NO side. Actually I plan to ask Hajji Aziz kaPisser to publish the details of this list. It might be interesting.
Anyway, anyway, anyway, Nsanyuse.
Katanga BBI
By the way, here is a joke for you, I got it from Hash Master Party Boy, it was meant for that Magazine that did not come out this year. On On
Making a baby. This is hilarious!
The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, 'Well, I'm off now. The man should be here soon.'
Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. 'Good morning, Ma'am', he said, 'I've come to...'
'Oh, no need to explain,' Mrs. Smith cut in, embarrassed, 'I've been expecting you.'
'Have you really?' said the photographer. 'Well, that's good. Did you know babies are my specialty?'
'Well that's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat'.
After a moment she asked, blushing, 'Well, where do we start?'
'Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the living room floor is fun. You can really spread out there.'
'Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work out for Harry and me!'
'Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results.'
'My, that's a lot!', gasped Mrs. Smith.
'Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I'd love to be In and out in five minutes, but I'm sure you'd be disappointed with that.'
'Don't I know it,' said Mrs. Smith quietly.
The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. 'This was done on the top of a bus,' he said.
'Oh, my word!' Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at her throat.
'And these twins turned out exceptionally well - when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with.'
'She was difficult?' asked Mrs. Smith.
'Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep to get a good look'
'Four and five deep?' said Mrs. Smith, her eyes wide with amazement.
'Yes', the photographer replied. 'And for more than three hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly concentrate, and when darkness approached I had to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just had to pack it all in.'
Mrs. Smith leaned forward. 'Do you mean they actually chewed on your, uh...equipment?'
'It's true, Ma'am, yes.. Well, if you're ready, I'll set-up my tripod and we can get to work right away.'
'Tripod?'
'Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big to be held in the hand very long.'
Mrs. Smith fainted
Friday, November 26, 2010
Hash #1411 - Kampala Club
Here I sit, my time as Hash Scribe winding down as 2010 does the same. It's natural that at a time like this, we start to take stock of the past year. I thought about doing this, getting all sappy about the great time I've had as scribe... and then I remembered how much this blog reminds me of those Sunday evenings when I was in school and had a stack of homework that I hadn't yet finished, weighing on the conscience until finally I break and type up some BS for the 3.5 readers to read and chuckle over at work when they should actually be working. Hell, who am I kidding, I sometimes write the blog when I'm supposed to be working and it's rarely done by Sunday night!
This coming weekend is the 2010 Hash Bash and along with hashing, eating, drinking beer and being generally merry, a new mismanagement will be chosen and I will be grinning ear to ear because I will soon be handing this blog and other duties over to some poor schmuck who doesn't know what he/she is getting into.
Monday's hash was at the Kampala Club and was hared by Idle Balls, Queenie and Hacken Bush. Hacken Bush tried to explain some kind of special way the hash was set, with 3 hares, but no one was really paying attention and I was no exception so I'll just leave it at that.
Announcements:
- Hash Bash will be on the 27th of November (this Saturday) and the fee has now gone down to 35,000/- so hurry up and sign up!
***THIS JUST IN***
Nominations for KH3 Mismanagement 2011
Nomination A
Hashmaster - Eddie Matumbwe - Virus
Hash Cash - Jimmy Mukasa - Mpuuta
Hare Raiser - Charles Kabunga - Mukira
Hash Stat - Fred Masadde - Knock Knees
Nominated by - Ian Clark - Hillary
- Next Monday's hash is all the way over in Natete at the Stallion Hotel so make sure that you leave wherever you are by midday to get there on time.
- Special announcement about the Gisenyi Hash from last weekend:
A grand time was had by all and the Kigali Hash took it upon themselves to baptize four of our own.
This coming weekend is the 2010 Hash Bash and along with hashing, eating, drinking beer and being generally merry, a new mismanagement will be chosen and I will be grinning ear to ear because I will soon be handing this blog and other duties over to some poor schmuck who doesn't know what he/she is getting into.
Monday's hash was at the Kampala Club and was hared by Idle Balls, Queenie and Hacken Bush. Hacken Bush tried to explain some kind of special way the hash was set, with 3 hares, but no one was really paying attention and I was no exception so I'll just leave it at that.
Announcements:
- Hash Bash will be on the 27th of November (this Saturday) and the fee has now gone down to 35,000/- so hurry up and sign up!
***THIS JUST IN***
Nominations for KH3 Mismanagement 2011
Nomination A
Hashmaster - Eddie Matumbwe - Virus
Hash Cash - Jimmy Mukasa - Mpuuta
Hare Raiser - Charles Kabunga - Mukira
Hash Stat - Fred Masadde - Knock Knees
Nominated by - Ian Clark - Hillary
Nomination B
Hashmaster - Jimmy Muyanja - Perry Mason
Hash Cash - Enoth Mugabi - Conman
Hare Raiser - Richard Mwebembezi -Mupakasi
Hash Stat - Betty Makumbi - Daddy's Girl
Nominated by - Albert Kareeba - Galloping Major
Nomination C
Hashmaster - Richard Mwebembezi -Mupakasi
Hash Cash - Enoth Mugabi - Conman
Hare Raiser - Abdu Kafuuma - Defaulter
Hash Stat - Sophie Kasozi - Mukodo
Nominated by - Sophie Kasozi - Mukodo
- Next Monday's hash is all the way over in Natete at the Stallion Hotel so make sure that you leave wherever you are by midday to get there on time.
- Special announcement about the Gisenyi Hash from last weekend:
A grand time was had by all and the Kigali Hash took it upon themselves to baptize four of our own.
- Nuru is now known as Sperm Bank
- Joann will forever be called Kuma Maji
- Deo is now named Toilet Keys
- Monica's hash handle is Street Walker
- The Hope Ward run will be taking place on November 28th - get warmed up for the MTN Marathon! 10,000/-
New Comers:
- Daniel from Germany was made to come by Dipstick
- I later found out that this guy's name is Kagimu Ema but it honestly took about 15 repeats for me to hear something that wasn't completely unintelligible.
- Bowling Balls made some dude named Edward come
- Miriam was extremely busy as she made Asaf (of E. Africa), Emily and Lillian come!
Sinners:
- Adiga was wearing a (non-hash) t-shirt that said "No, I am not on Facebook" Anyone who knows Adiga knows this statement to be completely false!
- Sperm Bank for telling Perry Mason that if his organ fails, she's got something to help
- Slippery When Wet didn't run or pay
- Stretch Marks was not there when HM presented some peppers, I just want to ask about these peppers, were they habañero, bell or jalapeño?
- Kimasula stole the hashit implements then blamed Kamdul
- Galloping Major was brought in as a sinner (even though he's not a General) because we've known Generals to shoot but now apparently they're singing!
Chatterbox came down to the following w**kers for the usual offences:
- Slippery When Wet
- Nipples
- Daddy's Girl
Nipples won and took two down downs for her farewell hash.
Hashit:
- Hillary was already the highest office in the land as Hash Master and now he's seeking to be the lowest - a politician!
- Rock Garden has been wearing earmuffs to the hash lately - the kind that play music and keep your ears warm at the same time.
- Hash Cash - for some reason there were 5 coffins on the hash bash budget????!!!!!
- Shotput for uprooting and stealing plants from the K'la Club
- Al's Bar for selling his name (Busuuba) to Hillary for an undisclosed price
The winner/loser was Hillary so yet again, all Hash Masters (except Kabuki, who was hiding) got to get hashit.
On! On!
Solar Erection
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